Shaun Majumder - Aggressive Kissing

  • Season 12 , Ep 24
  • 01/11/2008
  • Views: 10,171

Your posture's horrible. Did anybody ever tell you that? (3:09)

I LOVE WOMEN. LOVE 'EM.

I LOVE WOMEN.AND YOU KNOW WHAT?

I-- SEE HERE'S THE THING,I GREW UP IN A HOUSEHOLD

FILLED WITH WOMEN.SO I WAS TAUGHT,

AT A VERY EARLY AGE,TREAT WOMEN WITH RESPECT.

TREAT THEM LIKE A FLOWERBLOSSOMING IN THE SPRINGTIME,

- AND NEVER TO PUNCH THEM. AND--- [LAUGHTER]

THESE WERE THE VALUES INSTILLEDIN ME AT AN EARLY AGE.

AND SO I WAS WITHTHIS GIRL THE OTHER NIGHT,

AND YOU KNOW,THINGS WERE GOING REALLY WELL.

AND WE WENT BACK TO HER HOUSEAND THINGS WERE GETTING HOT.

AND WE WERE KISSINGVERY AGGRESSIVELY ON THE MOUTH.

AND-- THEN SHE STARTED,AS THINGS HEATED UP,

HER BEHAVIORBEGAN TO CHANGE A LITTLE BIT.

SHE STARTED TALKING WITHHER TEETH GRITTED LIKE THAT.

I WAS LIKE, "YEAH, HA, HA."SHE WAS LIKE, "ARRR."

AND I WAS, "YEAH, ARRR, ARRR."AND THEN SHE SAID TO ME,

SHE GOES, "YEAH, I WANTYOU TO DO BAD THINGS TO ME.

I WANT YOUTO TALK DIRTY TO ME."

- AND I WAS LIKE, "HA, HA."- [LAUGHTER]

IN MY HEAD I WAS LIKE, "MOM,YOU DIDN'T TELL ME ABOUT THIS."

SO I WAS TOTALLY CONFLICTED.I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO, RIGHT?

AND SHE WAS REALLY HOTSO I COULDN'T DROP THE BALL

ON THIS ONE,YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN FELLAHS?

SO I WAS JUST GONNAHAVE TO PUT MY MORALS AWAYAND JUST DO IT, RIGHT?

SO WE'RE INTERCOURSING.

WE'RE INTERCOURSING GOOD.AND I LOOK AT HER,

AND I'M LIKE,"DO YOU KNOW WHAT?

YOU KNOW WHAT YOU ARE?YOU'RE REALLY INCONSIDERATE

OF OTHER PEOPLE'S FEELINGSSOMETIMES, YOU KNOW THAT?

"YOU KNOW THAT?YOUR POSTURE'S HORRIBLE,

"ANYBODY EVER TELL YOU THAT?YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE--

WHERE YOU GOING?WHERE YOU GOING?"

TURNS OUT THAT'S NOTHOW YOU TALK DIRTY TO A WOMAN.

I TOLD MY FRIENDS ABOUT IT,THEY BROKE MY BALLS FOREVER.

THEY WERE LIKE, "THAT--YOU GOTTA FIX THAT MAN."

SO I WAS LIKE,OKAY, I'M NEVER GONNA--

I LEARNED.I LEARNED, RIGHT?

SO THE NEXT TIME I WASIN A VERY SIMILAR SITUATION.

I'M WITH THIS GIRL.WE GO BACK TO HER HOUSE.

WE'RE KISSINGVERY AGGRESSIVELY.

AND IT'S GOING AMAZING.AND SOON AS SHE WENT, "GRR."

I WAS LIKE,"YEAH, YOU WANT TO [BLEEP]YOU DIRTY LITTLE [BLEEP]?"

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

AND SHE STOPPED AND SHE SAID,"WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?"

AND I WAS LIKE--"OH, THAT. OH, NO, NO.

"OKAY, SEE MY FRIENDS,THEY TOLD ME THAT WHEN--

"OKAY, 'CAUSE YOU MADE THIS,'GRR,' NOISE. AND I--

"THEY SAID-- AND I WASWITH THIS GIRL ONE TIME,

"AND THEN SHE WAS LIKE--WHERE YOU GOING?

- "WHERE YOU GOING?- [LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

YOU'RE REALLY PRETTY.YOU'RE REALLY SOFT AND PRETTY."

[CHEERS, WHISTLES & APPLAUSE]

THANK YOU.

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