Nick Thune - Stoned

  • Season 12 , Ep 9
  • 01/11/2008
  • Views: 39,530

Nick Thune recently watched his stoned friend change his outgoing voicemail. (3:03)

I WAS RECENTLY ASKED TO PERFORMON A SHOW IN LOS ANGELES

WHERE I LIVE CURRENTLY,AND THIS SHOW WAS PUT ON

BY A COMPANY BY THE NAME OF HIGH TIMES MAGAZINE,

AND SOME OF YOU GUYSMAY KNOW WHO THEY ARE,

SOME OF YOU GUYS MAY NOT.AND IF YOU DON'T, YOU KNOW

IT'S A PUBLICATION THAT DEALSMOSTLY WITH CURRENT EVENTS.

[LAUGHTER]

MOSTLY WEED CURRENT EVENTS.

JUST STUFF THAT'S HAPPENINGWITH WEED. AND AH...

AND I FELT GUILTYPERFORMING ON THE SHOW

BECAUSE I HAVEZERO JOKES ABOUT WEED.

AND I STILL WANTED TO PERFORM,SO THE NIGHT BEFORE THE SHOW

I THOUGHT I WOULDDO SOMETHING SPECIAL

AND I INVITED A FRIEND OF MINEOVER TO MY HOUSE WHO SMOKES

A TON OF POT.AND I SAID, "LISTEN,

"SMOKE AS MUCH WEEDAS YOU NEED TO.

"ALL I WANT TO DO IS JUSTKIND OF FOLLOW YOU AROUND

AND KEEP TRACK OFWHAT YOU'RE DOING."

AND I'M GONNA GO OVERTHAT TIME LINE WITH YOU GUYS,

UM-- RIGHT NOW.

THIS IS THE TIME LINEOF MY FRIEND SMOKING POT.

8:42 PM, SMOKED POTOUT OF A PIPE.

8:52 PM, CHANGED HISOUTGOING VOICEMAIL MESSAGE.

AFTER 16 TRIES,HE FINALLY WENT WITH,

"YOU'VE GOT DANNY'S PHONE.LEAVE A MESSAGES."

[LAUGHTER]

9:15, DECIDED THATHIS LEFT LEG IS DEFINITELYSHORTER THAN HIS RIGHT LEG.

[LAUGHTER]

- 9:16, MEASURED HIS LEGS.- [LAUGHTER CONTINUES]

9:37, STARTED ATHREE-COURSE MEAL.

FIRST COURSE, EGGO WAFFLE,PEANUT AND JELLY SANDWICH.

IT'S PRETTY STANDARD,FROM WHAT I HEAR.

SECOND COURSE, UNCOOKEDSPAGHETTI NOODLES-- SANDWICH.

[LAUGHTER, OH'S & APPLAUSE]

THIRD COURSE,OLD BAG OF CANDY CANES.

TO BE HONEST,WE DON'T EVEN KNOWWHERE HE GOT 'EM.

DEFINITELY DIDN'TWALK IN THE HOUSE WITH THEM.

AND, YOU KNOW WE DIDN'THAVE 'EM THEREBEFORE HE GOT THERE.

SO STILL TRYINGTO FIGURE THAT OUT.

11:30, HE GOT A LITTLE ACTIVE.HE WENT OUT TO HIS CAR

TO GET A MIXED CD THAT HEWANTED ME TO LISTEN TO SO BAD.

HE CAME BACK 20 MINUTES LATERVERY CONFUSED...WITHOUT THE CD.

I REMINDED HIMTHAT HE DOES NOT OWN A CAR.

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

AND THEN FINALLY,RIGHT AROUND MIDNIGHT,

HE GOT HUNGRY AGAINAND HE FISHED COOKIE DOUGH BALLS

OUT OF BEN AND JERRY'SCOOKIE DOUGH ICE CREAM.

HE THEN PUT THECOOKIE DOUGH BALLS ON A PAN

- AND ATTEMPTED TO BAKE COOKIES.- [LAUGHTER OH'S & APPLAUSE]

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