Nice to be here.
Sounds like you'rein a great mood.
This is has not been agreat day for me, folks.
I lost my hair today.
I had a bad habit offlipping my head back
to keep the hair out of myeyes-- one time too many.
But it's nice to be here.
I had dinner tonightwith my father.
I made a classic Freudian slip.
I meant to say, can youpass me the salt please?
But it comes out, you creep.
You ruined my childhood.
Totally destroyed the moodof his birthday party.
81 years old, my dad.
That's got to be the tough one.
You wake up onemorning, and you're
above the recommendedage for Scrabble.
It's been a roughyear for the family.
My aunt passedaway two weeks ago.
And she was cremated.
So we think that's what did it.
Now I have to break the news tomy daughter-- seven years old,
the light of my life.
Kid has an incredibleimagination.
We were playing house.
She says to me,let's pretend you're
the daddy, only you have a job.
She's an only child.
The other day sheasked me why she
has no brothers and sisters.
I didn't want to getinto it, so I said, look,
you have an oldersister, but you're always
missing her byabout five minutes.
She said, hey, that's likemy other daddy you're always
just missing byabout five minutes.
My wife would liketo have another kid,
but I'm not sure thatit's right to bring
another child intosuch a crazy world.
You know what I'm talking about.
Last night, I'mtucking my daughter in.
She says to me, Daddy, Daddy,how can 400 children be killed?
Apparently she hadseen a commercial on TV
for a movie about theJonestown Massacre.
So I said, listen, honey.
Sometimes grownupsjoin religious cults,
and they give their childrenlethal doses of Kool-Aid.
Good night, sweetie.
She's doing OK.
She's a light sleeper.
Good kid, though.