Drunk Driver

  • Season 5 , Ep 10
  • 05/29/2008
  • Views: 30,174

Johnson lets some teens in on a secret: Some people drive better intoxicated than they do when they're sober. (1:47)

THIS YOUNG MANWAS DRIVING DRUNK,

COMMA,

WITHOUT KNOWINGHOW TO DO IT PROPERLY. OK?

LET ME SAY THAT AGAIN.

THIS YOUNG MANWAS DRIVING DRUNK

WITHOUT HAVING PRACTICED

SO HE WOULD KNOWHOW TO DO IT RIGHT.

AND YOU'RE NOT STUPID,

AND I'M NOT GONNA TREAT YOULIKE YOU ARE.

I'M GONNA TELL YOU SOMETHINGTHAT'S PRETTY CONTROVERSIAL.

SOME PEOPLE DRIVE BETTERWHEN THEY'RE INTOXICATED

THAN THEY DOWHEN THEY'RE SOBER.

HI. MY NAME'SDEPUTY JOHNSON.

I'M ABLE TO DOSUCH A THING, ALL RIGHT?

THINK ABOUT IT.

MY DAY-TO-DAY LIFE,

WHEN I'M DRIVING,WHAT AM I DOING?

I'M PLAYING AIR GUITAR?

MAYBE I'M TRYINGTO WIPE MUSTARDOFF MY PANTS,

OR I'M TEXTING SOMEBODY,

BUT I'M SURE AS HELLNOT LOOKING AT THE ROAD.

YES, I SAID HELL.LIVE WITH IT.

WHEN I AM DRIVING DRUNK,

2 O'CLOCK. 10 O'CLOCK,

MIRROR, MIRROR,EVERY 30 SECONDS.

THE AIR CONDITIONER'SON ME,

I'VE GOTSOME SPEED METALON THE RADIO,

I'M PUMPED. I'M PAYING ATTENTION. BELIEVE ME.

I'VE BEEN DOING THISSINCE I WAS 11 YEARS OLD.

I'M VERY GOOD AT IT.

IT'S LIKE USING CONDOMS,

OR POPPINGA PENICILLIN

BEFORE YOU HAVEMULTIPLE ENCOUNTERS.

YOU KNOW? SAFETY.YEAH?

I SEE A LOT OFPRETTY GIRLS HERE TODAY...

A LOT OF PRETTY GIRLS.

SOME OF YOU HAVEDEFINITELY GOT CAREERS

IN GENTLEMEN'S MAGAZINESLATER ON

AND ADULT ENTERTAINING.ALL RIGHT?

I HOPE THATWHEN IT COMES TIMETO LIST YOUR TURN-OFFS,

THAT VEHICULARMANSLAUGHTER...

WILL BE ONEOF THOSE TURN-OFFS.

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