I'm very close to takingoff a condom with
a girlfriend, and I'm--I didn't know how close.
I was seeing this girl, andwe were about to have sex.
And I was alreadywearing the condom.
And she goes, "Pete, you know,you don't have to-- You don't
have to wear a condom,because I have an IUD."
And I said, "Oh, great."
So I took it off, we startedhaving sex without one.
And then my first thought-- Myfirst thought upon
having sex with her was:
What is an IUD?
I know that sounds like phonybaloney comedy time.
This is a true story.
She goes, "Don'tworry, I have an IUD."
I'm looking for apatch or an ointment.
Is there a tattoo?
What-- What areyou talking about?
That is how close I am toremoving a condom, apparently.
The girl just has to say,"It's okay,"
and then any acronym.
She says to me, like, "Pete,don't worry about it.
I got Triple-A."
This bitch hasroadside assistance.
That is hot.
I like that.
"Don't worry,Pete, I have HIV."
You know, I can tell. There's aspice to it.
It's the only jokeyou'll remember.
You can groan, but that's theone that's going
to stick with you.
There's a spice to it.
Don't you [BLEEP]back away from me.
I'll burn this place down.
You guys took me seriously.
You're like, "Youmade Dad angry!"