Russ Meneve - Therapy

  • Season 9 , Ep 10
  • 04/07/2005
  • Views: 1,483

Russ needs therapy. (1:21)

I DON'T KNOW I THINK I NEED

THERAPY MYSELF, YOU KNOW.

'CAUSE I THINK I'M BIPOLAR.

'CAUSE WHEN I GET DRUNK,

I DRESS UP AS A WHITE ARCTIC

BEAR AND I HAVE SEX WITH MEN

AND WOMEN.

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

WAIT THAT'S NOT BIPOLAR,

HOLD ON A SECOND.

EITHER WAY I SHOULD SEE A

THERAPIST FOR THAT, RIGHT?

YOU GUY'S EVER GO TO THERAPY

BEFORE?

ISN'T IT AMAZING HOW QUICKLY

THAT COMPASSION SHUTS OFF WHEN

THE TIME IS UP?

YOU THINK THEY REALLY CARE FOR

A COUPLE OF SECONDS, RIGHT?

"OH, THAT'S SO SAD.

YOU WERE CRYING, NAKED,

CHAINED TO THE TREE AND...

WHOA, LOOK AT THE TIME SESSION'S

OVER."

THEN TRYING TO TALK TO THEM

AFTER IS LIKE TRYING TO TALK

TO WILLY WONKA AT THE END OF

THE MOVIE, RIGHT?

"BUT I THOUGHT I WAS HAVING A

BREAK THROUGH?"

"I SAID GOOD DAY, SIR!"

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

I DON'T KNOW.

I HAD TO GO 'CAUSE HAD A BAD

BREAK UP.

I BROKE UP WITH MY 95 YEAR-OLD

GIRLFRIEND WHO I MISS A LOT.

[LAUGHTER]

YOU CAN LAUGH ALL YOU WANT BUT

SHE WAS GREAT.

AND SHE USED TO WANT ME TO TALK

DIRTY TO HER IN BED.

I WOULD DO IT, I WAS LIKE,

"YEAH, BITCH I'M GOING TO FILL

YOU LIKE A PRESCRIPTION,

YOU LIKE THAT YEAH!

I'M GONNA RIDE YOU LIKE A BUS

TO ATLANTIC CITY, LET'S GO!

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

OH, GOD I'M GONNA...

OH BINGO!

ALL RIGHT!"

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

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