Patton Oswalt - Signs You're Getting Older

Patton Oswalt: Tragedy Plus Comedy Equals Time Season 1, Ep 101 04/06/2014 Views: 34,636

That fact that Patton Oswalt doesn't hate any music anymore made him realize that he's getting older. (2:23)

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THE FIRST ONE FOR MEN IS

YOU SUDDENLY FOR NO REASON

GET REALLY INTERESTEDIN WORLD WAR II.

THAT'S LIKE A BIG,JUST OUT OF NOWHERE...

LIKE, "YEAH, I WAS WATCHINGTHIS THING ABOUT ROMMEL

"ON THE HISTORY CHANNEL.

HE WAS KIND OF --"

OH, MY GOD, I'M 59!

[ LAUGHTER ]

SECOND BIG WARNING SIGNFOR ME SO FAR HAS BEEN

I DON'T HATE ANY MUSIC ANYMORE.

I DON'T.

THERE'S MUSIC I DON'T LISTEN TO.

THAT'S AS FAR AS I TAKE IT.

I DON'T -- THAT'S ALL.

WHEN I WAS -- OH, MY GOD,WHEN I WAS 25,

NOT ONLY DID I NOT LISTENTO MUSIC,

I HAD TO [BLEEP] LET YOU KNOW.

10 MINUTES AT A TIME --

"HEY, LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHINGABOUT CREED AND NICKELBACK, MAN.

"THOSE -- NO! NO!

"YOU DON'T [BLEEP] KNOW, MAN,BECAUSE THOSE GUYS --

"THE ONLY REASONTHAT NICKELBACK DOES THAT MUSIC

"IS FOR MONEY AND [BLEEP]

"THAT'S IT.

DID YOU KNOW THAT?"

WHY WASN'T44-YEAR-OLD PATTON AROUND

TO TALK TO 25-YEAR-OLD PATTON

AND GO, "WOW, BOY,

"YOU REALLY HIT THE NAILON THE HEAD WITH THAT ONE, MAN.

"THEY'RE DOING IT FOR MONEY.WOW, I'VE NEVER HAD --

"HEY, CAN I ASK YOUA FOLLOW-UP QUESTION?

"DO YOU KNOW WHAT PEOPLE DOFOR MONEY AND [BLEEP]

"ON THIS PLANET?

"THEY DO HORRIFIC SHIT.

"THEY TAKE OVER WHOLE COUNTRIES.THEY KILL EVERYONE.

"THEY RAPE EVERYONE.THEY CUT OFF LIMBS.

"NOW, THE GUYS IN NICKELBACK...

[ LAUGHTER ]

"SAID, 'WELL, I'D LIKE

"'THAT LEVEL OF MONEYAND [BLEEP] IN MY LIFE.

"'I DON'T KNOWIF I WANT TO KILL ANYBODY.

[ LAUGHTER ]

"'WHAT IF INSTEAD,

"'WE WENT...

♪ LOOK AT THIS BOO-DO-BOO

[ APPLAUSE ]

'WOULD THAT WORK INSTEAD?'"

[ APPLAUSE ]

THEY WENT WITH THAT OPTION,

WHICH KIND OF MAKES THEM HEROICWHEN YOU THINK ABOUT IT,

YOU KNOW?

[ APPLAUSE ]