Rick Cleveland - Busted

Rick Cleveland's My Buddy Bill Season 1, Ep 0101 02/07/2008 Views: 215

Hillary Clinton confronts Rick Cleveland about the time he spent hanging out in an Amsterdam hash bar with Bill Clinton and Christopher Walken. (3:30)

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SEPTEMBER 11th,THE WAR IN AFGHANISTAN

AND ALL THE PARANOIAABOUT HOMELAND SECURITY.

I DON'T KNOW IF BILL MADE ANYTRIPS OUT TO CALIFORNIA OR NOT,

BUT IF HE DID,I DIDN'T HEAR FROM HIM.

I DO A SPEAKING ENGAGEMENTIN CONNECTICUT.

AND THE DAY AFTER,I DRIVE OUT TO

BILL AND HILLARY'SPLACE IN CHAPPAQUA.

WHEN I GET THERE,A SECRET SERVICE AGENT

COMES OUT ANDWAVES ME TO A STOP.

I TELL HIM WHO I AM ANDGIVE HIM MY DRIVER'S LICENSE.

HE TELLS ME TO PARK MY CARAND GO INSIDE THE GUARDHOUSE.

SO I GRAB A NEW CAN OFTENNIS BALLS FROM THE TRUNK,

AND I GO INSIDE WHEREANOTHER SECRET SERVICE AGENTMAKES ME SIGN IN,

AND THEN I FOLLOW THEFLAGSTONE PATH UP TO THE HOUSE.

I KNOCK ON THE FRONT DOORAND HILLARY ANSWERS.

SHE SAYS, "HELLO, RICK."AND SMILES,

BUT SHE DOESN'T OFFER ME A HUG,NOT THAT I'M EXPECTING ONE,

AND I FOLLOW HER INSIDE.BUDDY IS WITH HER

AND HE STARTS WAGGING HIS TAILAND DANCING FROM FOOT TO FOOT.

AND WHILE HE'SSNIFFING MY CROTCHHILLARY GOES,

"WELL, SOMEONE'S HAPPYTO SEE YOU."

[LAUGHTER]

SHE SEES THE TENNIS BALLSAND GOES, "ARE THOSE FOR BUDDY?"

AND I GO, "UH-HUH."AND SHE GOES, "HOW SWEET.

"BILL'S RUNNINGAN ERRAND IN TOWN.

CAN I GET YOUSOMETHING TO DRINK?"

AND I SAY,"WATER WOULD BE GOOD."

HILLARY POURS MEA GLASS OF WATER AND SAYS,"I'M GLAD YOU'RE HERE.

THERE'S SOMETHINGI'D LIKE TO DISCUSS WITH YOU."

AND THAT'S WHEN AGENT POGUESTEPS INTO THE ROOM

AND HANDS HER THIS FOLDER ANDSHE SAYS, "THANK YOU, DAVID."

AND HE SAYS,"ANYTHING ELSE, MA'AM?"AND SHE SAYS,

"THAT'LL BE ALL FOR NOW."AND THEN, I SWEAR, AS HE LEAVES

- HE SMIRKS AT ME.- [LAUGHTER]

AND THEN I NOTICEDTHE FOLDER IN FRONT OF HILLARY

HAS THE WORD"AMSTERDAM" WRITTEN ON IT.

[LAUGHTER AND OH'S]

SHE SLIDES THE FOLDEROVER TO MY SIDE OF THE TABLE

AND MOTIONS FOR ME TO OPEN IT.AND INSIDE THE FOLDER IS

A PACKET OF PHOTOGRAPHS OF ME,CHRISTOPHER WALKEN, AND BILL

- HANGING OUT IN A HASH BAR.- [LAUGHTER]

A COUPLE OF THEM SHOWED ME ANDCHRIS BLISSFULLY TOKING AWAY.

[LAUGHTER CONTINUES]

IT SUDDENLY HITS METHAT IS MUST'VE BEEN POGUEWHO TOOK THE PHOTO'S.

HE TOTALLY SET ME UP.BUT BEFORE I CAN SAY ANYTHINGHILLARY SAYS, "RICK,

"AS I'M SURE YOU KNOW,PHOTOGRAPHS LIKE THESE

"COULD CAUSE MY HUSBANDAND OUR FAMILY

QUITE A BIT OF EMBARRASSMENT."NOT KNOWING WHAT TO SAY I GO,

"UM, OKAY,BUT JUST FOR THE RECORD,

CHRISTOPHER WALKENBROUGHT THAT STUFF."

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

SHE GOES, "THAT'S A LITTLEBESIDE THE POINT,

DON'T YOU THINK?"AND I CAN'T THINK OF

ANYTHING TO SAY TO THAT,SO I DON'T.

"THIS IS WHATWE'RE GOING TO DO,"SHE TELLS ME.

"YOU'RE GOING TO SPENDTHE AFTERNOON WITH BILL

"WHEN HE GETS BACK,WHICH SHOULD BE ANY MINUTE.

"AND THEN YOU'REGOING TO GO HOME.

AND AFTER TODAY,YOU AND BILL WILL PART WAYS."

BILL WALKS INTO THE ROOM ABOUTFIVE INTERMINABLE MINUTES LATER

DOING THATBITING HIS LOWER LIP THING,

SO I KNOW HE KNOWS WHATWE WERE JUST TALKING ABOUT.