Deon Cole - Making Drugs Work

  • Season 11 , Ep 14
  • 03/08/2007
  • Views: 12,809

Drug dealers need to play it safe because they have a responsibility to their customers. (3:15)

OH. OH.

ALL RIGHT.

- HEY. - HEY.

I'M HAPPY TO BE HERE.

THIS IS GROUNDBREAKINGRIGHT HERE, MAN.

I APPRECIATE THIS, MAN.THANKS FOR COMING OUT.

I'M GONNA DO SOME JOKES.

AND AH, YOU KNOW, HOPEFULLY THEY WORK.

AND IF THEY DON'T, YOU KNOW, I DON'T LIVE HERE

SO IT DON'T MATTEROR NOTHIN' LIKE THAT SO.

I'M JUST GONNA TRY SOME JOKES OUT REAL QUICK

SEE IF THEY WORK OR WHATEVER.

- LET'S SEE. - [LAUGHTER]

OKAY. LET'S START THIS OFF WITH SOMETHING THEY MIGHT LIKE.

[LAUGHTER]

OKAY, COOL.

I LIKE DRINKIN' VODKA AND CRANBERRY. THAT'S MY DRINK.

THAT WAY YOU'RE ABLE TO GET MESSED UP AND CLEAN YOUR SYSTEM OUT

- AT THE SAME TIME. - [LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

I LIKE TO STAY EVEN WHEN I GET MESSED UP. YOU KNOW?

LIKE I JUST FOUND OUT FISH IS BRAIN FOOD.

IT ENHANCE YOUR BRAIN CELLS. AND THAT'S GOOD TO KNOW.

'CAUSE LIKE WEEDKILLS YOUR BRAIN CELLS.

SO IF I EAT SOME FISH AFTER EVERY JOINT,

I SHOULD BE EVEN AGAIN, RIGHT?

[LAUGHTER, CHEERS & APPLAUSE]

YEP. I MIGHTJUST START SMOKIN' FISH.

YOU KNOW, JUST CUT THE MIDDLEMAN OUT. YOU KNOW?

I REMEMBER ONE TIMEI TRIED TO GET HIGH ANDI DIDN'T HAVE NO WEED.

AND MY LITTLEHISPANIC HOMEY WAS LIKE,

"DEON, HOLMES, IF YOU DON'T HAVE NO WEED,

"TAKE SOME CIGARETTES, DIP 'EM IN SOME COLD MEDICINE.

DRY 'EM AND SMOKE 'EM. YOU'LL BE MESSED UP."

I'M LIKE, "FORGET YOU, PEPE. I AIN'T ABOUT TO DO THAT."

ABOUT A WEEK LATER I'M OVER MY COUSIN'S HOUSE PLAYIN' PLAYSTATION.

I'M LIKE "YOU GOT SOME COLD MEDICINE?"

HE WAS LIKE "YOU GOT SOME CIGARETTES?"

I'M LIKE, "YEAH." WE DIPPED AND DRIED AND SMOKED 'EM.

FIVE MINUTES LATER I WAS LIKE-- HA, HA, HA, HA.

OH, HIGH AS HELL. BUT WE WASN'T HIGH. WE WAS JUST SLEEPY.

I AIN'T HAD A CHEST COLDSINCE THAT HAPPENED.

IF THERE'S ANY DRUG DEALERS IN THE HOUSE I JUST WANNA TELL YOU

FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART, KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK.

DON'T GET CAUGHT. PEOPLE LIKE MENEED YOU OUT HERE. ALL RIGHT?

THE GUY I WAS BUYIN' WEED FROM IN CHICAGO, HE DIED. AND IT HURT MY SOUL, TOO.

I JUST WANNA TELL THE DEALERS, YOU CAN'T BE OUT ON THE STREETS

ACTING ANY KIND OF WAY YOU WANT TO,

GETTIN' SHOT AND STABBED AND STUFF.

I MEAN YOU GOT RESPONSIBILITIES, YOU KNOW?

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

I MEAN, YOU GOTTA THINK ABOUT YOUR CUSTOMERS, YOU KNOW?

I MEAN IF YOU DIE,HOW WE GONNA GET HIGH?YOU SEE HOW THAT WORKS?

ONE OF THOSE GUYS GETS THE WEED AND SETS TO ANSWER THE DOOR

I'M LIKE, "HEY, REED, TELL SNAKE I WANNA GET A LITTLE 20 SACK."

SHE LIKE "DEON, SNAKE DEAD." I'M LIKE, "WHAT?

"SO THERE AIN'T NO WEED HERE?

HOW'D HE GO DOWN AND TAKE THE WEED WITH HIM, HUH?"

ONE TIME I MESSED UP MY MOTHERREAL BAD.

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