Nick DiPaolo - Curing the Sick

  • Season 6 , Ep 7
  • 06/02/2002
  • Views: 2,227

They say laughter can cure physical ailments. (1:34)

WELCOME TO THE WILLIAM JEFFERSON

CLINTON LIBRARY.

ONLY PRESIDENTIAL LIBRARY

WITH AN ADULT SECTION.

(LAUGHTER)

HOW'S IT GOING FOLKS?

HOW YA FEEL?

ALL RIGHT?

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

I'M GETTING OVER THE FLU BECAUSE

I HAVE NIECES AND NEPHEWS.

THEY CARRY GERMS.

I DON'T KNOW IF YOU EVER HUGGED

ONE OF THOSE KIDS.

YOU KNOW?

MY MOTHER'S LIKE "GIVE YOUR

NIECE A HUG."

NO I'D RATHER LICK THE TOILET

SEAT AT THE GREYHOUND BUS

STATION.

(LAUGHTER)

"GIVE TIMMY A HUG, HE'S GOT THE

EBOLA VIRUS THIS WEEK.

COME ON, GIVE EM A KISS."

HE'S ACTUALLY GOT TEETH MARKS ON

HIS NECK WHERE SOME MONKEY BIT

HIM ON VACATION IN ZAIRE.

YEAH, LET ME HUG HIM.

BUT I'LL FEEL BETTER AFTER THIS

BECAUSE THEY SAY THAT LAUGHTER

CAN CURE PHYSICAL AILMENTS.

THAT'S IN THE NEW ENGLAND

MEDICAL JOURNAL.

THIS IS TRUE, NOW THEY HAVE

CLOWNS PERFORMING FOR TERMINALLY

ILL PEOPLE IN HOSPITAL WARDS.

IS THAT WHAT YOU REALLY WANT?

YOU'RE DYIN' OF CANCER, YOU WANT

WILLY WHISTLE TWISTING A BALLOON

INTO A POODLE?

"TIMMY, WHAT DO YOU WANT

A DUCK?"

(SQUEAKING NOISES)

"LET ME DO A PONY FOR YA."

(SQUEAKING CONTINUES)

TIMMY'S LIKE "YEAH, COULD YOU

TWIST THAT THING INTO A LIVER,

I'VE BEEN ON THE LIST THREE

YEARS?"

(LAUGHTER)

SPEAKIN' OF CURES, I SAW A SIGN

TODAY ON THE SIDE OF A BUS,

I THOUGHT IT WAS A LITTLE

INSENSITIVE, IT SAID "HELP CURE

MUSCULAR DYSTROPHY BY JOINING

OUR WALK-A-THON."

(LAUGHTER)

WHAT THE HELL IS THE MESSAGE

HERE?

YOU CAN'T DO IT, WE'LL DO IT FOR

YA.

YOU KNOW?

YEAH, LET'S WIPE OUT ANOREXIA

WITH A BAKE SALE.

(LAUGHTER)

LADY GOT ALL BUMMED OUT I USED

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