(slurred)Yeah, this is pretty bad.

But honestly,I know my limit.

I'm just pacing myselffor that lava cake.

Okay, you've absolutelyreached the limit.

Your face looks likethe underbelly of a tugboat.

Listen, we are here

celebratingyour birthday, okay?

Yeah, and for mybirthday

I would lovefor you to stay alive.

Abbi, I am a veteranof this game.

I got three tothree and a half servings

of shellfish left in me.I feel it.

And then my throat'sgonna start to close up

and you'll just stab mewith an epi pen.

It's not a big deal.

Where am I gettingan epi pen?

From my clutch.Durr!

So you planned on having mestab you with an epi pen?

(more slurred)You know, stop tryingto change the subject.

What did Doug say to youon the phone?

Okay, so,it turns out that, um,

he wasn't wearinga condom last night.

What?!

It had to have beenthe condom

from the other nightwith boring Ben,

which means that...

there was a condomin my person for four days.

Normally,I would be overjoyed

that you had sextwice in one week.

Okay, I could have swornthat he was--

You could havesworn what?

Not only are wetalking STDs here,

I can't even imaginehow many dudes

would love to lock you downwith an unexpected pregnancy.

I mean,what do you think--

All right,the Alaskan king crab stew.

And I do hopeyou ladies enjoy it.

Thank youso much, John.

Eww.

I mean, your bodyis a temple.

(slurping)You've got to respect it.

Ilana, stop,that's enough.

No, enough.Hey, two more bites.It is so expensive.

Ilana, stop eating--okay.

We're not doing thisanymore.

No, one more,one more.

Come on,take this pen.Hey!

No, no!Ilana, take the pen.

Aah! God!(diners groan)

I stabbed myself.(gasps)

I juststabbed myself!

Whoo!

Adrenaline!

I... could actuallytake that pen.(wheeze)

I feel so aliveright now!

What's going on?

Ilana,I got you, girl.

It's my birthday,I'm the king of the world!

Wait, wait.

We'll take those twomolten lava cakes to go.

(shudders)

26, 26!