Demetri Martin - Where Jokes Go

Season 1 , Ep 101 01/13/07 Views: 58,791

Demetri Martin imagines what it would be like if his jokes wound up in outer space. (5:53)

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I SPEND A LOT OF TIME WITH MY JOKES

RIGHT UP UNTIL I TELL THEM.

BUT THEN, I NEVER THINK ABOUT THEM AGAIN.

I WONDER WHERE MY JOKES GO AFTER THAT.

[ HARMONICA PLAYS ]

WELL, I KNOW THEY START IN MY HEAD.

THE JOKE FLIES THROUGH THE AIR,

THEN HITS PEOPLE'S EARS.

THEN IT KEEPS FLYING...

AND GOES INTO THE EARSOF ANIMALS, TOO.

BUT THEY'RE TOO STUPIDTO GET THE JOKE.

AND THAT JOKE JUST KEEPS FLYING FROM THERE...

OFF INTO THE SKY FOREVER.

THAT'S WHERE MY JOKES GO.

♪ THAT'S WHERE MY JOKES GO AFTER I TELL THEM ♪

I THINK THEY NAMED ORANGES BEFORE THEY NAMED CARROTS.

[ LAUGHTER ]

"WHAT ARE THESE?"

"THOSE ARE ORANGE -- ORANGES."

"WHAT ABOUT THESE?"

OH [BLEEP]

[ LAUGHTER ]

LONG POINTIES?

WE'LL GO BY SHAPE NOW?

[ TEMPO INCREASES ]

I THINK IT WOULD BE COOL --

IF YOU WERE WRITING A RANSOMNOTE ON YOUR COMPUTER --

IF THE PAPER CLIP POPPED UP AND SAID...

"LOOKS LIKE YOU'RE WRITING A RANSOM NOTE."

[ LAUGHTER ]

"NEED SOME HELP?"

"YOU SHOULD USE MORE FORCEFUL LANGUAGE.

YOU COULD GET WAY MORE MONEY."

[ CHEERING ]

I THINK GRAFFITI IS THE MOST PASSIONATE LITERATURE THERE IS.

IT'S ALWAYS LIKE, "BUSH SUCKS!"

"U2 RULES!"

I WANT TO MAKE INDIFFERENT GRAFFITI.

"TOY STORY 2 WAS OKAY!"

[ LAUGHTER ]

"I LIKE GINA AS A FRIEND,

BUT I'M NOT SURE ABOUT TAKING THINGS FURTHER!"

"THIS IS A BRIDGE!"

WONDER IF MY JOKES GO ANYWHERE AFTER THAT?

THEY MUST KEEP FLYING...

UP INTO THE SKY....

...ABOVE TREETOPS,

WHERE THEY ENCOUNTER MYTHICAL BEASTS

WHO ARE IMAGINARYAND EVEN MORE IMAGINARY.

[ LAUGHTER ]

I LIKE TO DO CRAFTS.

I WORK WITH GLITTER QUITE A BIT.

DON'T WORRY, I MAKE TOUGH STUFFLIKE DAGGERS AND SKULLS.

THE THING ABOUT GLITTER IS IF YOU GET IT ON YOU,

BE PREPARED TO HAVE IT ON YOU FOREVER...

BECAUSE GLITTER IS THE HERPES OF CRAFT SUPPLIES.

[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE ]

♪ MY JOKES MUST KEEP FLYING FROM THERE ♪

♪ UP ABOVE THE SKY

♪ INTO SPACE

♪ WHERE THEY GO ON AND ON

PAST ASTRONAUTSWHO RESPOND APPROPRIATELY

AT THE EDGE OF THE SOLAR SYSTEM.

[ HARMONICA PLAYS ]

TILL THE ASTRONAUTS PEEL OFFINTO DEEP SPACE.

THERE ARE COMETS...

THAT SOAR...

...AND A STAR --A BRIGHT STAR...

WATCH THE JOKES FLY BY.

[ HARMONICA PLAYS ]

HE'S NOT FAMOUS,BUT THAT'S OKAY.

THEN I GOTHROUGH ANOTHER DIMENSION

WHERE THE JOKE LANDS ON A SISTER PLANET --

A LITTLE SISTER PLANET WHEREMY LITTLE SISTER, AS A CREATURE,

WALKS AROUND WONDERING,

"WHAT THE HELL'S MY BROTHER DOING WITH HIS LIFE?"

THERE ARE ROCKETS THAT WATCH THE JOKES SHOOT BY.

JUST IN THE DEEPEST CORNER OF SPACE, I SEE A ROBOT...

...A ROBOT THAT LOOKS LIKEMY UNCLE JOHNNY.

HE MADE ME WORK AT A DINER.

BUT NOW HE'S JUST IN SPACE WITH SOME JOKES...

IN MY SPECIAL.

LOOKS LIKE I GOT THE LAST LAUGH.

[ APPLAUSE ]

IT'S WEIRD THE WAY "FINGERPUPPET" SOUNDS OKAY AS A NOUN...

...LADIES.

♪ THAT'S WHERE MY JOKES GO

♪ AFTER I TELL THEM

♪ THEY GO INTO SPACE

♪ THAT'S WHERE THEY GO

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

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