Violent High-Fiving

  • Season 1 , Ep 3
  • 02/14/2012
  • Views: 77,174

Keegan reenacts giving Jordan a particularly aggressive high-five. (1:32)

Tags:  violence, friends

I'M AGAINST VIOLENCE.

- WELL, EXCEPT--WITHTHE EXCEPTION OF VIDEO GAMES.

- YES, WITH THE EXCEPTIONOF VIDEO GAMES.

- AND MMA.- OH, YEAH.

- AND, UH, GAME OF THRONES.- OH, YEAH.

- AND THE WIRE.- OH, YEAH!

- AND SLASHER MOVIES.- UH-HUH.

ALL RIGHT, LET ME REPHRASE IT.LEMMA REPHRASE IT.

I AM AGAINST VIOLENCEINVOLVING ME.

- THAT'S--THAT'S CLEAR.- NO, ON--

YEAH, ON TV AND MOVIES,

THAT'S WHEREIT'S SUPPOSED TO BE.

WHERE NO ACTUAL PERSONGETS HURT.

- I AGREE WITH THAT.I AGREE WITH THAT.

- WHICH IS WHY I WILL NOTSLAP YOU HIGH FIVE ANYMORE.

- WHY--WHY?- BECAUSE.

THERE'S THAT ONE TIME.

HE SLAPPED MY HANDSO HARD,

MY [bleep] JUST TURNEDINTO A PINK MIST.

[imitates burst]

WHAT THE [bleep]?

- WE HAD--

WE HAD DONESOMETHING COMEDICALLY

THAT WORKED REALLY WELL,AND I GOT EXCITED.

I CAME--I HAD TOGET IN THERE!

- NO, YOU CAME AT--- I HAD TO GET IN THERE.

- SHOW--JUST SHOW--SHOW ME HOW YOU SLAP HIGH FIVE.

- OKAY, I'LL DO ITIN SLOW MOTION.

WHAT HAPPENEDWAS I CAME UP IN HERE--

I GOT MY PLANT FOOT DOWN.

- SEE, DON'T--NO PLANT FOOT.NO PLANT FOOT.

- JUST GOTMY PLANT FOOT DOWN,

AND THEN I GOTSOME TORQUE IN MY HIPS.

- SEE, WHAT'S THE--WHY ARE YOU TURNING BACK HERE?

- 'CAUSE I HAD TOGET THAT [bleep]!

- NO, MAN.- I HAD--

I GOT SOME TORQUE,LIKE, IN MY HIPS...

- NO, THIS IS--NONE OF THIS.

- WENT STRAIGHTTIGER WOODS ON IT.

- NO, DUDE.- GOT THE HIPS AROUND.

- WHY YOU GOTTA BE--- I GOT THE HIPS AROUND.

AND THEN I JUST LET--

THIS [bleep] WAS A WHIP.JUST A STRAIGHT WHIP.

AND THEN...- AAH!

- AND GOT IN THERE.

I GOT IN THERE,AND THEN I--

I KNOW YOU NEED TO RUN,BUT COME HERE.

AND THEN I GOT HIM HERE,

AND I HAD, LIKE,A FOLLOW-THROUGH LIKE THAT.

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