I'm feeling good.I'm feeling very, very good.
I'm already in a good mood.
I think it's weird the thingsthat'll put you in a really
good mood, because I, uh, Iflew here, and I went through
And I, uh, I don'tknow about you guys.
I actually know solittle about you guys.
But when I travel, I lovewearing a T-shirt
that I don't care about.
I don't know why-- I think it'sbecause I get sweaty.
I'm a little embarrassed toadmit this, but when I fly,
I get sweaty.
I get off the plane, peopleare like, "You been jogging?"
I'm like, "No.
I've been sittingstill in the sky.
Got any water?"
So I always wear a shirtI don't care about.
Now, I've been giventhis shirt twice.
It's a shirt that says,
"Dr. Seuss, Green Eggs and Ham."
You're right to laugh at that.
Twice, as a gift, from twodifferent parties.
The first time I was like,Well, they've misread
The second time it was likethe universe was like,
"Put the [BLEEP] shirt on."
So I wear itsometimes when I fly.
And I'm wearing this shirt
going through airport security.
And I don't want to say-- Idon't want to be too edgy here
tonight, but the TSA canbe filled with
a bunch of grumpies.
I know a lot of you came for mydivisive bad-boy humor.
And here it is.
I'm leaning on a lamppostflicking a nickel,
lighting a match on my neck.
Just like, "Yeah,full of grumpies."
Every once in a while you getthe one guy that loves being
at the TSA.
It's like an old guy.
He's moonwalkingaround, wanding people.
Everything's coming up Gary!
Like, [BLEEP] Gary, he'sgetting cancer from everything
He's like zippety-do-dah.
I love a Gary.
And I got a Gary.
So I'm wearing this shirt.
I forgot that I'mwearing this shirt.
I go through the machine, it'searly in the morning.
And just all I hear fromoutside-- This is what put me
in a good mood for,like, two days.
I hear this woman in the TSAgo, "What you know about green
eggs and ham?"
Two days I've beenin a good mood.
I was like, "What?"
"What you know-- What-- Whatyou know about
green eggs and ham?"
I forgot I was wearing theshirt. I was like,
"What-- Is this a terroristquestion?
Are those code names?
Are you hitting on me?
What does this mean?"
"What you know aboutgreen eggs and ham?"
Which is weird, because shewas Korean, and--
I'm just kidding.
She was a sassy black woman,just like you cast her in your
minds, you racists.
You did a perfectjob, you racists.
"What you know about--" Itgets deafer
every time I do it.
"Green eggs and ham!"
That's all it took toput me in a
wonderful, wonderful mood.
"What you-- Whatyou know about--"
She'll never know how deeply