I am an--I'm an adult.I don't know if you could tell.
But I still love to eat cerealfor meals.
That's like my go-to, right?Yeah, yeah.
I love the sugary cereals notjust because they're delicious,
but they also have the mostentertaining commercials.
Like, if a sugary cerealhas a new flavor coming out,
they're never, like,just straight up about it
in the commercial, like,"Hey, check it out.
We got a new flavor.Go buy it."
They always want you to thinkthat this new flavor exists
'cause there wasa goddamn accident
down at the cereal factory!
You didn't hear about iton the news? Oh, my God.
Down at the Cinnamon ToastCrunch factory,
someone pulledthe peanut butter lever.
Guys, I--I made a big mistake.
I bought a pair of TOMS shoes.
Those shoes are no matchfor rainfall.
You get them, and you're like,"I'm changing the world."
It rains once, they curl uplike elf shoes,
and then they just smelllike vinegar,
and you're like, "What the--"
If you don't knowwhat TOMS shoes are,
uh, some some cheesedickin California
was like, "I'm gonna get peopleto wear shoes
"that only an art teacherwould wear.
"Then I'm gonna make that personfeel like they're a good person,
"'cause I'll send that same pairof shoes to a child in need.
"Also, the shoes will be madeout of napkins,
"dinner napkins stapledto the bottoms of flip-flops.
You know, I found that they sentthe same pair of shoes I bought
to a kid in Haiti,
but they were so dramaticin the email.
They were like, "Every dayon his way to school,
"this child faces hard terrainand parasites,
"but we hooked him upwith some napkin shoes,
so he's fucked."
"Say your good-byes."