Richard Lewis - Family Reunions

Tommy Sledge & Hugh Fink Season 1, Ep 0119 02/24/1992 Views: 463

Richard is finally older than his mom. (2:16)

BUT NOT PSYCHED FOR ME

BECAUSE IN TWO DAYSI'LL BE FLYING TO JERSEY.

IT'S MY MOTHER'S BIRTHDAY.

SHE WANTS ME TO SAY...

ALL RIGHT MOM, I'LL SAY IT.

I'M 44, SHE SAYS SHE'S 41,WHICH IS ABSURD

BUT SHE'S 41 NEXT TUESDAY.

ACTUALLY, SHE'S 135

BECAUSE SHE HAD SEXWITH ONE OF THE WRIGHT BROTHERS.

I HAPPEN TO KNOW THAT.

I'M JUST KIDDING, MOM.

IT'S A JOKE, I'M A COMIC.

SHE THINKS I'M A DENTISTIN FT. LAUDERDALE.

SHE'S FABULOUS

SHE MEANS HARM, AND I'M SURE...

I SAID, "I'LL COMETO THE BIRTHDAY"

BUT I'M IN L.A.--IT'S 3,000 MILES TO JERSEY.

I WAS IN VEGAS DOING A SHOW.

I THINK IT WAS AT CAESAR'S...

I REALLY FORGET, QUITE FRANKLY.

BUT DOWNIN THE LITTLE GAME ROOM...

IT WAS $1,000, A HOLOGRAMYOU COULD BUY.

IF YOU'RE HAVING FIGHTSWITH YOUR FAMILY--

IT'S A HOLOGRAM.

THEY THINKYOU'RE AT THE BIRTHDAY

THEY CAN TOUCH YOUAND YET YOU'RE NOT THERE.

THEY TOUCH YOU

AND YOU'RE ACTUALLYIN YOUR OWN BATHTUB AT HOME

OR IN MAUI ON A HAMMOCK--IT'S FABULOUS.

I DON'T WANT TO GO

BECAUSE THE WHOLE FAMILY'SGOING TO BE THERE

AND THEY'RE TOO NEGATIVE.

I'M TRYING TO LET GOOF THAT NEGATIVITY.

EVERY FAMILY REUNION,IT'S THE SAME THING.

WHEN I WAS GROWING UPMY MOTHER WOULD HAVE A TOAST

AT THE OPENING OF A REUNION:"YOU'RE KILLING YOUR FATHER"

AND THEN SHE WOULD...

AND I'LL SHOW UP

AND MY UNCLES AND MY AUNTSWILL GO, "HOW ARE YOU?

"HEY, YOU'RE DOING WELL.

LOOKS LIKE YOU'REPUTTING ON SOME PROBLEMS."

I DON'T NEED TO HEAR...

AND THEN MY MOTHER'S BIRTHDAY,WHAT DO I GIVE HER?

LAST YEAR I GAVE HER A...SHE'S SO HARD TO PLEASE--

I GAVE HERA SELF-COMPLAINING OVEN

WHICH I FELT WAS A GOOD GIFT

BUT SHE'LL REJECT EVERYTHING.

I'M 44-- I'VE NEVER GIVEN HERA GIFT THAT SHE'S KEPT

SINCE I WAS OLD ENOUGH TO BUYHER A GIFT WITH MY ALLOWANCE.

SHE'S ALMOST LIKE A NEGATIVE, UH...

MENTALIST, IN A SENSE.

THERE WILL BE LIKE A BAG THERE.

EVERYBODY WILL BRING MOM GIFTSAND SHE'LL GO...

"I'M GOING TO RETURN THE SCARF."

"YES, YOU ARE!"