Rapid Refresh - Oprah's Yard Sale

  • Season 1 , Ep 0109
  • 11/04/2013
  • Views: 444

Jonah Ray, Ali Wong and Howard Kremer guess which threat Charlie Sheen made to his ex-wife on Twitter and what Oprah Winfrey sold at her yard sale. (3:10)

LET'S GO TO THE FIRST ROUNDRIPPED FROM TODAY'S INTERNET

HEADLINES.

IT'S TIME FOR RAPID REFRESH.

OR RAPID RE-FRESH AS I WASCORRECTED, STRANGELY, ON THE

INTERNET.

FIRST COMEDIAN TO BUZZ IN GETS100 POINTS.

CHARLIE SHEEN IS BACK IN THENEWS.

CAN YOU GUESS WHY?

>> AT THIS POINT I DON'T KNOW IFCHARLIE SHEEN IS STILL DOING

DRUGS.

I ASSUME HE'S JUST MADE OFDRUGS.

I ASSUME DRUGS DO HIM.

(LAUGHTER)LIKE, IF YOU WERE TO PULL CRACK

OVER ON THE HIGHWAY YOU'D HAVETO TEST ITS SHEEN LEVELS.

(LAUGHTER)>> IS HE IN THE NEWS BECAUSE HE

FOUND OUT WHERE EMILIO ESTEVEZHAS BEEN HIDING?

(LAUGHTER)>> Chris: I STILL MAINTAIN

"MEN AT WORK" IS A GREAT MOVIE.

>> "BREAKFAST CLUB."

>> Chris: GOOD MOVIE STILL,TOO.

>> I THOUGHT MAYBE A SKANKNADOTOUCHED DOWN IN MALIBU.

(LAUGHTER).

>> Chris: ALL RIGHT, CHARLIESHEEN VERY MAD AT HIS EX-WIFE

FOR REASONS.

(LAUGHTER)CHARLIE SHEEN USED TWITLONGER TO

GO ON AN EPIC RANT ABOUT THEMOTHER OF HIS TWO CHILDREN.

WHICH OF THE FOLLOWING IS A REALTHINLY-VEILED THREAT FROM

CHARLIE'S TWITTER RANT.

A)THERE WILL BE A RECKONING.

B.)IT'S AN ABHORRENT DICK DANCE.

(LAUGHTER)C.)

BOB, IF YOU DELETE THIS YOU ARECOOKED AND FIRED LIKE A LUAU

SWINE.

(LAUGHTER)WHICH ONE?

WHICH ONE IS REAL.

ALI WONG?

>> I'LL SAY IT'S "C" EVEN THOUGHI DON'T KNOW ABHORPBLT MEANS.

>> Chris: THE CORRECT ANSWERIS ALL OF THE ABOVE!

THIS WAS A TWEET!

THINGS YOU WRITE ON THE INTERNETCAN BE USED AGAINST YOU, CHARLIE

SHEEN.

HEY, OPRAH WINFREY HAD A YARDSALE OVER THE WEEKEND AND

GROSSED OVER $600,000.

(AUDIENCE REACTS)>> YEAH, I BET IT WAS A LOT OF

SCALES.

(LAUGHTER)LOT OF SCALES, LOT OF GEORGE

FOREMAN GRILLS AND LOT OF DILDOSWITH THE NAME GAYLE TATTOOED ON

THEM.

(LAUGHTER)WHAT?

WHAT?

>> Chris: I THINK I HAVE TOGIVE YOU 100 POINTS FOR THAT

ALI.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)WHY NOT?

WHY NOT?

ACCORDING TO THE HUFFINGTONPOST, OR THE HUFF PO.

AT $60,000, WHAT WAS THE MOSTEXPENSIVE THING SOLD?

A)OPRAH'S PERSONAL HIGH SCHOOL

YEARBOOK?

B.)SOME LOUIS 56 ARMCHAIRS OR, C.)

STEDMAN.

JONAH RAY?

>> "A" BECAUSE I WANT TO SEETHAT.

>> Chris: THE CORRECT ANSWERWAS LOUIS 16 ARMCHAIRS.

WHO GOES TO A YARD SALE WITH$60,000?

>> I HEARD SHE WAS SELLING ATOILET WITH A GIFT UNDER THE

SEAT.

(LAUGHTER)(APPLAUSE)

THANK YOU.

>> Chris: YOU GATE PLUNGER ANDYOU GET A PLUNGER!

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