Pantsed

  • Season 1, Ep 6
  • 02/20/2013
  • Views: 9,413

An animated story from Nick Kroll's past about being pantsed in front of his childhood crush. (1:09)

ONE OF THOSE FIRST, LIKE,BOY-GIRL PARTIES,

AND THERE ARE NO PARENTS THERE,

AND YOU'RE LIKE,"COOL RANCH DORITOS?

COOKIE KRISP?"I MEAN, WE'RE HAVING FUN.

WE'RE GOING AFTER IT.

I'M LIKE 4'9".

I'M LIKE A STRAIGHT-UPLITTLE BOY,

I GO TO TALKTO MY FRIEND LIZZIE,

WHO IS THIS GIRLTHAT I HAD A CRUSH ON.

LIKE, I WAS GONNA BE LIKE,"HEY, DID YOU READ THAT ARTICLE

IN HIGHLIGHTS MAGAZINE?"

AND LIZZIE ISSITTING THERE, LOOKING AT ME,

LIKE, UGH,THIS GUY'S THE WORST.

AND THIS GIRL JENNY,WHOSE HOUSE IT WAS,

COMES UPFROM BEHIND

AND PANTSES MEBECAUSE THERE WAS THAT YEAR,

LIKE, SEVENTH GRADE,WHERE PANTSING WAS AN EPIDEMIC.

SO JENNY PULLS DOWNMY LITTLE GAP KIDS KHAKIS,

BUT HERE IS THE REAL PROBLEM,WAS THAT I WAS ALSO WEARING

SILK BOXER SHORTS.

I DON'T KNOW IF I THOUGHTI WAS LIKE A TINY HUGH HEFNER.

[jazz music]

THE SMOOTHNESS OF THE SILK

AGAINST THE SMOOTHNESSOF MY LITTLE BOY PENIS,

EVERYTHING COMES DOWN,AND I'M JUST NOW BUCK NAKED.

MY LIFETIME CHILDHOOD CRUSHLIZZIE IS STARING STRAIGHT

AT MEAND MY TINY, LITTLE CASHEW.

THE GIRL WHO PANTSED ME,SHE'S TRAUMATIZED,

LIZZIE IS TRAUMATIZED,

I AM NOW A COMEDIAN.

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