Joe DeRosa - Achievers Are the Worst

Joe DeRosa: You Let Me Down Season 1, Ep 1 02/03/2017 Views: 858

Joe DeRosa makes it clear that anyone who wants to be a boss is definitely terrible. (1:58)

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If you achieve in any fieldat the top of that field,

no matter what your field is--

sports, acting, music,comedy, doesn't matter--

whatever it is, if you achieve

and get to the topof your field,

you're a piece of shit, okay?

You're a piece of shit.

Never try to achieve, ever.

It makes you a bad person.

We live in Hollywood.

You know what I'm sayingis true right now.

You know what I'm sayingis true.

[cheers and applause]

It makes you a bad person.

Doesn't matterwhat the field is.

How many of youwork in an office, right?


Would you ever want to hang out

with the guythat owns your office?

No, he's a [bleep] dickhead.

That's why he owns the office.

You're not a boss unlessyou're a douchebag, okay?

It's an unarguable rule.

Even if you justwant to be the boss,

you're a [bleep] douchebag.

"I think I couldrun this place."

Congrats,you're a [bleep] douchebag.

Never come to happy hourwith us ever again.


That's where I get mad.

I'll tell you,that's where I get annoyed

when I hear, like,the gender argument

with bosses, you know?

Sometimes a female boss will go,

"Well, once I became the boss,

everybody saidI was a bitch."

Now, that is true, okay?

We are all quietly callingthe female boss "bitch," okay?

But we're also quietly callingthe male boss "[bleep]sucker."

We don't like the boss.

Dick or vagina,bitches and [bleep]suckers,

they all [bleep] suck, okay?

I'm supposed to believe

that Donald Trump and Steve Jobsare pricks

but Hillary Clinton and Oprahare just misunderstood?

No, no.

[cheers and applause]

They're all assholes.