Joe DeRosa - Achievers Are the Worst

Joe DeRosa: You Let Me Down Season 1, Ep 1 02/03/2017 Views: 858

Joe DeRosa makes it clear that anyone who wants to be a boss is definitely terrible. (1:58)

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If you achieve in any fieldat the top of that field,

no matter what your field is--

sports, acting, music,comedy, doesn't matter--

whatever it is, if you achieve

and get to the topof your field,

you're a piece of shit, okay?

You're a piece of shit.

Never try to achieve, ever.

It makes you a bad person.

We live in Hollywood.

You know what I'm sayingis true right now.

You know what I'm sayingis true.

[cheers and applause]

It makes you a bad person.

Doesn't matterwhat the field is.

How many of youwork in an office, right?

Right?

Would you ever want to hang out

with the guythat owns your office?

No, he's a [bleep] dickhead.

That's why he owns the office.

You're not a boss unlessyou're a douchebag, okay?

It's an unarguable rule.

Even if you justwant to be the boss,

you're a [bleep] douchebag.

"I think I couldrun this place."

Congrats,you're a [bleep] douchebag.

Never come to happy hourwith us ever again.

[applause]

That's where I get mad.

I'll tell you,that's where I get annoyed

when I hear, like,the gender argument

with bosses, you know?

Sometimes a female boss will go,

"Well, once I became the boss,

everybody saidI was a bitch."

Now, that is true, okay?

We are all quietly callingthe female boss "bitch," okay?

But we're also quietly callingthe male boss "[bleep]sucker."

We don't like the boss.

Dick or vagina,bitches and [bleep]suckers,

they all [bleep] suck, okay?

I'm supposed to believe

that Donald Trump and Steve Jobsare pricks

but Hillary Clinton and Oprahare just misunderstood?

No, no.

[cheers and applause]

They're all assholes.