Jeff Dye - Not Political

  • Season 14, Ep 24
  • 01/11/2010
  • Views: 13,076

Jeff Dye treats the Democrats and the Republicans like the Bloods and the Crips. (1:57)

I DON'T KNOW A LOTABOUT POLITICS.

I TREAT THE REPUBLICANSAND THE DEMOCRATS

LIKE THE BLOODS AND THE CRIPS.

I'M LIKE, "I DON'T REALLY --I'M NOT IN THIS THING."

I THINK ONE THING WE CAN ADMIT,

NO MATTER WHAT SIDE OF THE FENCEYOU FALL ON,

REPUBLICAN OR DEMOCRAT,

THAT THE MEDIA GOTA LITTLE CARRIED AWAY THIS YEAR.

SOME OF THE STUFFTHEY WROTE WAS BANANAS.

YOU KNOW, LIKE,IN THE L.A. TIMES, IT SAID,

"THIS IS THE BIGGEST PRESIDENCYFOR AFRICAN AMERICANS EVER."

[ LAUGHTER ]

I DON'T KNOW.

I THINK THAT LINCOLN ONEWAS PRETTY BIG.

THAT WAS A HUGE ONE, I THINK.THAT WAS -- WOW.

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

TALK ABOUT CHANGE.

EMANCIPATION --THAT'S CHANGE, I THINK.

I THINK EVEN DEAD LINCOLNWINS THAT DEBATE, YOU KNOW?

"I SEE YOUR HEALTHCARE,AND I RAISE YOU FREEDOM."

HOW'S THAT?

[ LAUGHTER ]

ONE THINGTHAT WAS REALLY WEIRD THIS YEAR

IS THEY KEPT ENCOURAGINGEVERYBODY TO VOTE.

YOU KNOW,IF YOU WERE OLD ENOUGH,

YOU FELT THE PRESSURETO GO OUT AND VOTE.

YOU KNOW, WHEN IT WAS G. DUB,THEY'RE LIKE,

"DO IT IF YOU WANT," LIKE,"WE DON'T CARE," YOU KNOW?

AND THIS YEAR,IT WAS LIKE, "EVERYBODY, VOTE!

"YOUNG PEOPLE, GET OUT AND VOTE!

"OLD PEOPLE, VOTE, VOTE, VOTE!

"YOUNG PEOPLE,DRIVE THE OLD PEOPLE!

VOTE!VOTE TWICE!"

YOU'RE LIKE, "CAN YOU DO THAT?"

YOU KNOW, THAT'S BAD ADVICE,YOU KNOW?

I'VE BEEN ALL OVER THE COUNTRY.

TRUST ME --YOU DON'T WANT EVERYONE VOTING.

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

RIGHT?

DUMB PEOPLE SHOULDN'T VOTE.

YOU GET EVERYBODY.WELL, THAT'S THE THING.

I KNOW I DON'T READ.

YOU KNOW, YOU DON'T WANT MEAND MY DUMB FRIENDS SHOWING UP,

LIKE, "HEY,THIS GUY'S GOT A FUNNY NAME.

"I HOPE HE WINS.[ LAUGHS ]

"HEY, JEFF,I WROTE IN FLAVA FLAV."

[ LAUGHS ]LIKE, "ALL RIGHT."

IT'S LIKE, "YOU PROBABLYCOULD HAVE STAYED HOME, ANDREW.

I DON'T THINK FLAV'SGONNA WIN THIS HERE."

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