Uh, still a waiter.
How many people wait tablesby round of applause here?
Pitter-patter, pitter-patter,fair enough.
I wait tablesat a corporate-owned restaurant.
And when you wait tablesat a chain restaurant,
it's just likethe movie Office Space.
It's flair, in-your-face flair.
I live in a butt-fluffof suggestive selling
and incessant"Happy, Happy Birthday" songs.
And it's so loud.
They train all the serversto be in your face.
Is that what you wantwhen you go to a restaurant?
Like, I want to sit downand enjoy some quiet time
with my friends--that's what I want.
What I don't want is somehyperactive cheese ( bleep )
in an apron intrudingon my personal space,
pummeling me with mindless,
insincere phrases like,"Hi, how are you?
"Hey, how are you guys?
"Do you want to start offwith some zucchini circles
"or perhapssome Bubba's Far-Out Dip?
"We've got protein drinks.
( chuckling ): "Those are Bud Light,Miller Lite, and Sam Adams.
I'm super-zesty-- ah!"
All right, hey,that's my time, guys.