Andrew Norelli - Giving Up

Season 1, Ep 0106 08/24/2006 Views: 4,070

Life is so hard -- don't you ever just want to give up? (2:20)

You have to be charitable.

If you're a woman,and you get breast reduction,

you need to donate those boobs.

There are flat womenout there right now

that actually have to think

of clever things to sayin conversation.

Thank you.

( chuckling ):Thank you.

But I don't, I don't care.

I don't fight it anymore.

I just, I learned not to argue,'cause you can't win.

I learned thatfrom my cell phone company.

I called them up 'causemy voice mail wasn't picking up.

You know what they told me?

"It sometimes does that."

And it worked.

I swear, I was like,"Shoot, you're right,"

and I hung up, and it was over.

"It sometimes does that."

I know it sometimes does that.

That's why I sometimes call.

Let's fix it sometimes.

But I have to give in.

I have to... I mean,I like it when people give up.

I was at this stereo store,and the manager had three teeth.

I was like,"Hell yeah, dude, yeah!"

You know what?Three is all you need.

You're right.

That guy's real.

I trust that guy.

I mean, he laughs at your joke,he means it, you're funny.

He's not going to smileif he doesn't have to.

Life is so hard, man.

God, it's...

Don't you ever want to just giveup and become a security guard?

I saw a security guard the otherday sleeping at 2:00 p.m.,

like a baby.

He was adorable.

I haven't slept like a babyin ten years,

'cause I'm up thinkingabout stuff like goals.

This guy had the right attitude.

"I failed.Oh, well, night-night,"and passes out.