Tracy Morgan - Adventure

Tracy Morgan: One Mic Season 1, Ep 101 08/26/2002 Views: 8,934

While in Salt Lake City for the Olympics, Tracy Morgan notices something strange: There are no black people in Utah. (4:16)

I just... I can't...I can't just ex...

I hosted the Olympics.

NBC sent me out thereto Utah, Salt Lake City.

I hosted the...( applause )

When they gave me the call...right?

When they gave me the call,I was, like:

"I think you gotthe wrong number.

Brothers and sisters, we don'tmess with the Winter Games."

We don't... that cold weather,ice and snow.

We don't deal with that.

There was none of thatin Africa.

( laughter )

Ain't nobody havingsnowball fights in Africa.

( speaks mock tribal language )

( laughter )

I went out there, man.

And there was no black peoplein Utah.

Not... None!No black people.

I got off the plane."Where are all the black...?"

( laughter )

Me, my wife and my three kids,we made up like 85 percent

of the black populationout there, man.

( laughter )

Utah was crazy.Crazy, man.

They had us all up in a... inthe mountains, in a ski resort

and it was great, 'cause in themorning, you opened up the...

you open up the... the tr...

See the mountains

white people coming downthe slopes.

( shushing )

( laughter )

( shushing )

They do stuff like that.

"Great exercise, man!

This is great exercise."

Nah... That ain't no...That ain't no sport.

Skiing ain't no sport.

It don't take nothingto put some skis on

and do down the slope80 miles per hour.

I want to see your assgo up the hill.

( laughter )

I seen all this,I got excited.

"Well, let's go, let's goskiing. Let's go skiing."

"I ain't."You know, black... sisters

"I ain't going skiing.

I ain't going no skiing."

( laughter )

"Well, let's... look atthe mountain, look at the slope.

She said, "No, that looklike death."

( laughter )

"And I'm just not readyto face death."

White people got to bungee jumpand ski and all of that stuff.

You know, we face death livingin the hood all the time.

I don't have to searchfor no adventure

and seek adventure and stuff.

I'm black.

Just me trying to pay my billsis an adventure.

( cheering and whistling )

Hey, uh, white, they got seekthrills and stuff.

We want to find new waysto prevent shark attack.

Always jumpingin the water

trying to swim with sharksand stuff.

They have this new suitthat's going to prevent-- Nah!

"We want to find new waysto prevent shark attack."

Leave 'em alone!

( laughter and applause )

Leave 'em alone!

Get your assout of the water, man.

"Move over, get out the water,Jeff!"

"Come on, the water's great!

There's a Great White comingover here, come on!"

Get out of the water,leave 'em alone, dog!

Leave 'em alone.

If He wanted us in the sea

He would've gave us gillsand fins and stuff.

( laughter )

Use it.

I'm telling you, man,I went up on the slope.

My wife,she down there looking at me.

I got this. I clip the skis on--Clap, clap!

Have my goggles. Everything.

The gear, the whole gear:helmet, snowsuit

gloves, everything.

I was ready.I went down, right?

Like, halfway down,I just... I had a garage sale.

( laughter )

There was a ski over there.

Goggles up in the tree.

There was a gloveall the way down there.

They had to closethe mountain down.

"Get him up.We gotta get him out of there."

Hell, the choppers came in.

I'm walking through the airportwith a neck brace on.

My wife got this lookin her face like:

"That's good for your ass.

"Trying to be likethe white folk.

"You know we don't ski.

"Kunta Kinte never skied.

Chicken George and themdid not ski."