Ben Bailey - Different Smells

CC Presents: Ben Bailey Season 10, Ep 18 04/21/2006 Views: 13,030

Even a horse couldn't survive the smells of New York in July. (2:11)

- Audience Member: WHEW!- THANK YOU VERY MUCH. FELLOW COLD SUPPORTER.

'CAUSE WHEN IT'S HOT IN NEW YORK CITY IT STINKS,

AND IT STINKS BAD.

YOU WALK ONE BLOCK IN MANHATTAN IN JULY,

YOU SMELL 100 DIFFERENT SMELLS THAT COULD DOWN A HORSE.

IT'S JUST ONE AFTER ANOTHER.YOU'RE LIKE, [Sniffs] "OOH. OOH!

"OH MY GOD. RUN! RUN! IT'S NOT GOING AWAY.

- [LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE] - GET BACK TO THE CAR."

THE ONE THINGYOU KNOW A SMELL IS BAD

WHEN IT STARTS TO AFFECT YOUR OTHER SENSES. RIGHT?

IF YOU'RE STANDING ON THE CORNERAND THE GARBAGE TRUCK GOES BY

- AND YOU ARE MOMENTARILY BLIND, - [LAUGHTER]

THAT IS A BAD SMELL.

YOU'RE JUST MINDING YOUR OWN BUSINESS.

[Sound of Truck Roaring By]"WHOOAH! WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?

- "[SOBBING] - [LAUGHTER]

- I CAN'T SEE." - [LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

AND WHY IS IT THAT WHEN YOU SMELL A HORRIBLE SMELL,

YOU IMMEDIATELY SMELL IT AGAIN

JUST TO SEE IF YOU CAN IDENTIFY IT?

YOU'D THINK IT WOULD BE ENOUGH TO KNOW THAT IT WAS AWFUL.

BUT IT'S NOT. YOU HAVE TO KNOW EXACTLY WHAT THAT AWFUL SMELL IS.

YOU CAN'T HELP IT, RIGHT?

YOU'RE LIKE, [Sniffs] "OH MY GOD.

- "WAS THAT-- [Sniffs] - [LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

"YEP. THAT WAS ROTTEN MEAT ALL RIGHT.

"GOOD THING I SMELLED IT AGAIN. NOW WHEN I'M TELLING MY FRIENDS

"ABOUT THIS I CAN SPECIFY PRECISELY WHAT THE ODOR WAS

"THAT BURNED ALL THE HAIRS OUT OF MY NOSE,

"MADE ME KIND OF RETARDED FOR A COUPLE HOURS.

IT WAS ROTTEN MEAT. SO AVOID IT AT ALL COSTS."

IT STINKS IN NEW YORKIN THE SUMMER.