Tom Lennon - A Quick Announcement - Uncensored

The One with the Horror Stories Season 1, Ep 8 09/18/2014 Views: 9,291

Before Tom Lennon does his jokes, he has some important information about a special event happening immediately after the show. (2:36)

I've been doing stand-upcomedy for a long time

but tonight was the first nightever I said, "You know what?

"I'm not going to drink,at all, before I go on stage."

And what happened was...

♪ It didn't work outIt didn't work out ♪

♪ It didn't work outIt didn't work out ♪

♪ It didn't work out

♪ It didn't work out

I have a series-- I'm gonna dosome jokes in a second.

But Kumail and, uh,the white guy...

asked me to make a quickannouncement before morejokes happen.

Right after the Meltdown show,is the official Meltdown...

suck and fuck in my Prius.

My Prius is parked directlybehind the building.

It has two bumperstickers on it.

The first one says, "Don't blameme, I voted for Hillary."

and the other one says, "Myother car is a Quidditch broom."

You might have a couplequestions...

about the after-showsuck and fuck.

The first one,"Is it mandatory?"

Not at all, no.

Number two, the golden ruleat the suck and fuck...

treat everybody the way youwould treat Dame Judi Dench.

This used to be,"treat everybody...

the way you wantedto be treated".

But I feel like people havesuper, low self-esteemthese days.

Hey, Todd,we told you you're...

not here until next week.Oh, I know, I'm sorry.

You're not here until nextweek. Get out of here!No, no, no, no.

I just-- I got--I thought--

D-Don't even film,he's not here until next week.

You're making me feel horrible.

"Don't even film"...that's very unprofessional.

I swear to god,I'm being serious.

Oh.

Don't adjust the radio.

You should have thoughtabout how much you likeAni DiFranco...

before you came to a suckand fuck in a Prius.

Rule #6, and this is a giant--this is a huge umbrella rule.

No grinches.

You're probably wondering,you're saying...

"Hey, Tom, why do I haveto pay $15 to go...

to the after-Meltdown suckand fuck... in your Prius?

And the answer is, because it'sa benefit for music education.