I live in New York now.
I love living in New York.
It's hard being a basketball fanin New York, though,
because it's so expensiveif you want to go to a game.
If you want to goto a Knicks game,
it's like $200.
Lucky for me,my brother moved to D.C.,
so once a year I go visit him.
We go to a Wizards game,
'cause it's like 75 cents
to go see the Wizards, right?
Nobody gives a sh...you can go to a...
you can pay five dollarsat a Wizards game
and you can sit on the court
at half-courtwhile they're playing.
That's how much nobodygives a shit about the Wizards.
And you guys knowthe T-shirt guns
they have at basketball games?
They blast T-shirtsinto the crowd
with thesehigh-powered air guns.
Went to a Wizards gamelast year.
They came out withthese air guns at halftime.
The announcer got onthe loudspeaker and goes,
"Who would like
a free Chipotle burrito?"
And they started
into the standswith the air gun.
They have a Chipotlein the stadium,
so it's likea marketing thing for them.
If you were to ask me,hey, what's the worst thing
you can think of
to blast into 19,000 people...
Like, I wouldn't eventhink of burrito.
Burrito is two thingsbeyond what I would think of.
I'd be like,"Beans, fill it with beans.
"That's a bad idea.
"Salsa, that's very messy.
It's gonna getall over everybody."
I wouldn't even think to takeall the burrito ingredients,
wrap 'em upinto an actual burrito form,
stuff 'em in a gunand blast that into the crowd.
I wouldn't think to do that.
But if you're in that crowd...
...you want that burrito, right?
That burrito's like $20at an NBA basketball game
and the burrito beats the shitout of a foul ball
at a baseball game any day.
If I was at a...if I was at a baseball game,
standing next to, like,an eight-year-old kid
and his dadand I caught a foul ball
I would give it tothe eight-year-old kid.
That ball means more to the kidthan it does to me.
That same kid standing nextto me at a basketball game,
if he caught a burrito?
I would beat the shitout of that kid.
I would eat the burritoin front of him and his father.
I would do that!That's how great it is.
When there's a burritospiraling towards you
and you're in the upper deck,that's a great moment.
That's a happy time.
That moment turns badvery quickly
when that burritostarts unraveling.
Your whole section is rained on
by wet, hot burrito ingredients.
What if you're vegan?
What if you're a vegan
and you're in seatsthat you paid for
and you're coveredin sour cream and steak?