Michael Ian Black - Halloween Costumes

Michael Ian Black: Very Famous Season 1, Ep 101 08/06/2011 Views: 11,092

Just because Michael Ian Black lives in the suburbs doesn't mean that he's going to dress up as SpongeBob SquarePants for Halloween. (1:53)

THE NEXT YEAR WAS BETTER.

NOT GREAT, BUT BETTER.

HALLOWEEN COMES,I SAY TO MY SON,

"WHAT ARE YOU GONNA BEFOR HALLOWEEN?"

HE GOES, "I'M GONNA BEFRANKENSTEIN."

AND I SAY, "OKAY."

HALLOWEEN COMES,HE WALKS DOWNSTAIRS,

HE'S GOT, LIKE, AN OLDSUIT JACKET OF MINE ON,

OLD SUIT PANTS;HIS FACE IS PAINTED GREEN.

YOU KNOW, HE'S GOT, LIKE,A MAKEUP SCAR

ACROSS HIS FOREHEAD, YOU KNOW,AND HE'S DOING THIS.

[growling]

AND I LOOK AT HIM.

AND I SAY...

"WHAT ARE YOUSUPPOSED TO BE?"

HE GOES,

"I'M FRANKENSTEIN."

I SAID, "NO, YOU'RE NOT.

"YOU'RE THE CREATURE.

FRANKENSTEIN WAS THE DOCTORWHO INVENTED THE CREATURE."

[laughter and applause]

"IT'S A COMMONLITERARY MISTAKE,

"BUT YOU JUST MADE IT,MY FRIEND.

GO UPSTAIRS AND CHANGE."

AND MY KIDS ARE ALWAYS LIKE,

"WHAT ARE YOU GONNA BEFOR HALLOWEEN, DAD?

WHAT ARE YOU GONNABE FOR HALLOWEEN, DAD?"

I'M LIKE, "I DON'T WANNADRESS UP FOR HALLOWEEN."

"WELL, YOU GOTTA DRESS UPFOR HALLOWEEN, DAD.

YOU GOTTA...BLAH EH EH."

I'M LIKE, "YOU KNOW WHATI'M GONNA BE

"FOR HALLOWEENTHIS YEAR, KIDS?

"I'M GONNA BEA GROWN [bleep] MAN.

HOW 'BOUT THAT?"

"HEY, MIKE, I LOVEYOUR SPONGEBOB COSTUME."

"[bleep] YOU!I AM NOT GONNA DO THAT."

'CAUSE NOW THAT'S WHATYOU HAVE TO DO

AS A PARENT IN THE SUBURBS,WHERE I LIVE.

YOU HAVE TO CHAPERONEYOUR CHILDREN

EVERYWHERE THEY GO,

BECAUSE EVERYBODY'SSO AFRAID

THAT THEIRPRECIOUS LITTLE ANGEL

IS GONNA GET ABDUCTEDOR SOMETHING.

HOW EGOTISTICALCAN YOU GET?

OH, YOUR KID IS SO SPECIAL.

EVERYBODY WANTS YOUR KID.

COME ON.