Mitch Fatel - The Mitch Fatel Questionnaire

  • Season 11 , Ep 19
  • 04/05/2007
  • Views: 30,434

Mitch Fatel knows what a woman wants. (3:22)

OF THE WOMAN'S NEEDS.MOST GUYS DON'T EVEN TALK TO YOU

WHEN THEY'RE HAVING SEX WITH YOU.

IF YOU'RE LUCKY, THEY'RE JUST LIKE

"I'M FALLING OFF THE BED." THAT'S IT.

YOU'RE LUCKY IF YOU GET THAT. BUT NOT ME,

EVERY GIRL I HAVE SEX WITH GETSTHE MITCH FATEL QUESTIONNAIRE.

I'M ALWAYS LIKE, "HOW ARE YOU ENJOYING THIS SO FAR?

"HAVE I BEEN COURTEOUS AND KIND?

WOULD YOU RECOMMEND ME TO A FRIEND?"

- [LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE] - YEAH, OKAY.

AND EVERY GIRL WHO HAS SEX WITH ME LADIES,

IS GUARANTEED TO HAVE AN ORGASM, OR DINNER IS ON ME.

MOST GUYS DON'T EVEN CARE IF YOU HAVE AN ORGASM.

GUYS JOKE AROUND. THEY'RE LIKE,

"HOW DO YOU KNOW A WOMAN HAD AN ORGASM?

WHO CARES? HA HA HA, LET'S GO SMOKE CRACK."

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

NOT ME, I LOVE GIVING WOMEN ORGASMS. OH, MY GOD.

I WOULD RATHER DO THAT THAN HAVE ONE MYSELF.

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

I WOULD, 'CAUSE WOMEN ARE JUST SO GIVING

WHEN THEY HAVE AN ORGASM. OH, MY GOD.

THEY REALLY WANT YOU TO KNOW YOU DID A GOOD JOB.

THEY THANK YOU AND MAKE YOUSANDWICHES. EGG SALAD.

AND I THINK THAT WOMEN ENJOY THEIR ORGASMS

A LOT MORE THAN MEN,'CAUSE WHEN A GUY HAS AN ORGASM,

IT'S JUST ONE BIG, UGLY GRUNT. [GRUNTS]

BUT WHEN A WOMAN HAS AN ORGASM,

OH, MY GOD. IT'S BEAUTIFUL.

FIRST OF ALL, THEY DON'T JUST HAVE AN ORGASM,

THERE'S A WHOLE 15-MINUTE PRE-SHOW BEFORE,

WEIRD LIKE MOANINGAND KNOCKING STUFF OVERAND THREATENING YOU,

"IF YOU STOP THAT, I'LL RIP YOUR BALLS OFF."

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

AND THEN THEY JUST GET REALLY QUIET.

AND THAT QUIET TIME IS THE MOST IMPORTANT TIME

BECAUSE THAT'S THEIR CONCENTRATING TIME.

AND IT'S VERY IMPORTANTTHAT YOU DON'T TALK

DURING THEIR CONCENTRATING TIME,

ESPECIALLY WITH A GUYLYING LIKE, "COME ON,BRING IT HOME, COWGIRL.

- I GOT A SANDWICH WAITIN'." - [LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

YOU JUST KEEP YOURMOUTH SHUT AND GET READYTO DEFEND YOURSELF,

'CAUSE I DON'T KNOW WHY. BUT WHEN A WOMAN HAS AN ORGASM,

IT'S VERY IMPORTANT TO THEM THAT THEY HURT YOU.

THEY START PULLING YOUR HAIRAND CHOKING YOU.

THIS ONE GIRL STARTED RAMMING MY HEAD AGAINST THE HEADBOARD.

I WAS LIKE, "I'M GONNA DIE. TELL MY MOM I LOVE HER."

[LAUGHTER, CHEERS & APPLAUSE]

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