Sandra Bernhard - So Few People Look Nice These Days

Dana Gould & Larry Amoros Season 1, Ep 0163 02/24/1992 Views: 2,563

There are a couple of good looking models in the front row. (2:43)

SOMETHING OF A TWIST.

WE'VE HAD SO MANYDIFFERENT LOOKS THIS WEEK.

I JUST WENTCONSERVATIVE TONIGHT.

YOU KNOW, IT'S GOODJUST TO GET INTO THAT...

NO?

IT'S NOT?

I MEAN, IT'S NOT EXACTLYA TIRED CONSERVATIVE.

Woman:GO?

GO?

ALL RIGHT, GOOD NIGHT!

THEY HAVE BEEN WEARINGMY ASS OUT TODAY.

I AM SO WASTED.

I HAD TO DO THIS LONG INTERVIEW

WITH STONE PHILLIPSFROM DATELINE.

CAN YOU IMAGINE A BIG PROFILEON ME IN DATELINE?

YOU KNOW THAT SHOWTHAT'S ON NBC?

ISN'T THAT WEIRD?

ASKED ME ALL THESEREALLY PERSONAL QUESTIONS.

I WAS, LIKE,"WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?

"OH, YOU'RE INTERVIEWING ME.

I FORGOT."

BECAUSE I GET REALLY BITCHYAND DEFENSIVE

LIKE HE WAS SOMEBODYWHO STOPPED ME ON THE STREET.

HE WAS, LIKE, REALLYINVADING MY PRIVACY

AND THEN I REALIZEDI WANTED HIM TO DO THIS.

THAT I ACTUALLY...I HAD CULTIVATED MY WHOLE LIFE

SO I COULD BE, YOU KNOW,COMPLETELY INVADED BY SOME FREAK

WITH, LIKE, A NORMAL HAIRCUT.

OR WAS IT AN ABNORMAL HAIRCUT?

IT DEPENDS HOW YOU LOOK AT IT.

IT WAS WEIRD.

YOU TWO...

I'M RIVETED TO YOU TWO.

YOU'RE WEARINGAN ARMANI EXCHANGE T-SHIRT.

YOU HAVE THE JAW LINE THATBRUCE WEBER PERSONALLY DESIGNED.

YOU GUYS ARE RIGHT OUT OF, LIKE,COMPLETE FRONT OF VANITY FAIR.

WHAT IS HAPPENING?

ARE YOU MODELS?

( laughter )

ARE YOU MODELS/BRAIN SURGEONS?

( laughter )

WHAT, YOU ARE?

SHE SAID SHE WAS.

AND YOU ARE, TOO.

YOU SAID, "NO, NO,"BUT YOU WERE GOING LIKE THIS.

BUT A LOT OF PEOPLEHAVE THAT PROBLEM.

"NO, NO."

"DO YOU WANT TO HAVE SEXWITH ME?"

"NO... NO."

( laughter )

I GET THAT A LOT.

WHAT? YOU ARE A BRAIN SURGEON.

NO, YOU'RE NOT.

YOU'VE GOT SOME BIG, BIG ROCKSON YOUR EARS.

THOSE ARE NICE.

DID HE GIVE THOSE TO YOU?

NO, SOMEBODY ELSE?

WELL, SHE COULD'VE BOUGHT THEMFOR HERSELF

IF SHE WAS ANY KINDOF AN INDEPENDENT WOMAN.

BUT SHE'S NOT--SHE'S DEPENDENT...

IS SHE?

SORRY.

NO, I'M JUST...

YOU WERE WEARINGBEAUTIFUL CLOTHES

AND I JUST WANTEDTO ACKNOWLEDGE THAT

BECAUSE SO FEW PEOPLEDO LOOK NICE THESE DAYS

THAT WHENEVER IT HAPPENS...

AT LEAST YOU'RE NOT WEARING ALITTLE TUBE TOP OR SOMETHING...

AND FLIP-FLOPS...

( laughter )

AND FEELING GOOD ABOUT IT.

PEOPLE JUST SHOW UP ANY...

DON'T GET ME INTO IT.