Damon Wayans - Bicycle Cop

Lissow, Jeselnik, Corry, Williams Season 9, Ep 904 01/13/2006 Views: 14,505

Damon Wayans gets pulled over by a bicycle cop. (1:32)

I LOVE IT. I LIVE OUT-- YEAH.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

I LIVE OUT IN L.A. L.A. IS KINDA WEIRD.

YOU GOT TO DRIVE EVERYWHERE IN L.A.

YOU KNOW YOU JUST GOT TO DRIVE TO GET YOUR MAIL.

YOU KNOW, YOU DRIVE TO JUST--PEOPLE ARE JUST BASICALLY LAZY.

WHEN YOU TRY TO WALK IN L.A., PEOPLE LIKE, STOP YOU

AND ASK YOU FOR A RIDE."YOU WANT A RIDE, DUDE?

YOU LOOK LOST."

I GOT PULLED OVERBY A BICYCLE COP IN L.A.

NOT A MOTORCYCLE COP. A BICYCL COP.

HE COME IN LIKE, CHING, CHING, CHING, CHING, CHING, CHING.

AND, I'M IN MY CAR. AND, HE GETS OUT.

HE'S SWEATIN'. HE HAS THESE LITTLE SHORTS ON.

"YOU KNOW HOW FAST YOU WERE GOING?"

I WAS LIKE, "YEAH, A LOT FASTER THAN THAT BIKE."

"YEAH, I CLOCKED YOU AT120 PEDALS PER SECOND."

AND, HE'S LIKE HARASSIN' ME. YOU KNOW, HE'S LIKE, YOU KNOW,

"I PULLED YOU OVER BECAUSE YOUR WINDOWS ARE TINTED."

AND, IT'S LIKE, "YEAH, WELL YOU KNOW, PEOPLE RECOGNIZE ME.

I HAVE TO TINT 'EM."HE GOES, "YOU KNOW WHAT?

I'VE NEVER WATCHED IN LIVING COLOR."

THIS HOMEY DOESN'T PLAY THAT. HERE'S YOUR TICKET."

I'M LIKE, "YOU KNOW, YOU'RE GONNA GIVE ME A TICKET?"

I WANTED TO SAY SOMETHING. BUT YOU CAN'T SAY NOTHIN'

'CAUSE I DON'T WANT TO GET ARRESTED

AND HIM PUTTIN' ME IN THE BASKET OF THE BIKE.

AND DRIVE ME DOWNTOWN.I BE LIKE, "MAN, LOOK--WE CAN TAKE MY CAR."

[LAUGHTER, CHEERS & APPLAUSE]