Tess - Working Women

  • Season 9 , Ep 5
  • 02/24/2005
  • Views: 2,037

Tess blames this "working craze" on the feminists. (2:54)

I'M GONNA BE HONEST WITH Y'ALL.

I AIN'T NEVER REALLY BEEN A

WORKER PER SE.

ALL RIGHT?

I WAS EVEN A BAD TEMP.

Y'ALL KNOW WHEN YOU CAN'T EVEN

TEMP.

I WOULD JAM THE COPIER AND

WALK AWAY AND STUFF, YOU KNOW.

"I'M A TEMP.

I DON'T KNOW HOW TO FIX THAT."

[LAUGHTER]

THEY GIVE ME WORK.

I HIDE IT UNDERNEATH THE

PREGNANT GIRL'S DESK AND STUFF.

YOU KNOW.

[LAUGHTER]

LEAVE HER NOTES.

"I HOPE YOU GOT SOME REST,

'CAUSE YOU GOT A LOT OF WORK

TO DO."

I'M A TEMP.

I AIN'T GONNA LIE.

I AIN'T NEVER REALLY WANTED

TO WORK.

I BLAME THIS WHOLE WORKING CRAZE

ON THE FEMINISTS.

THAT'S WHO I BLAME IT ON.

YEAH.

I DON'T KNOW WHO PUT THEM IN

CHARGE.

LADIES, I HOPE YOU REALIZE

WE COULD BE AT HOME RESTIN'

RIGHT NOW IF IT WASN'T FOR

THEIR ASSES.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

YEAH.

OH, YEAH.

NO, THEY HAD TO GO AROUND

BURNIN' BRAS AND STUFF.

YOU KNOW.

"EQUAL RIGHTS.

EQUAL RIGHTS.

WE WANNA WORK AS HARD AS MEN

DO."

NO THE HELL WE DON'T.

[LAUGHTER]

I WANNA STAY AT HOME AND

REST UP FOR MY NEXT SHOPPIN'

EXPEDITION, MAN.

THIS AIN'T FAIR.

I DON'T KNOW.

I AIN'T NEVER WANTED TO WORK,

THEY CRAZY.

I'LL TELL YOU SOMETHING.

WOMEN REALLY JUST WANNA

BE PROTECTED AND TAKEN CARE OF.

THAT'S WHAT WE WANT.

WE DO.

THAT'S OUR THING.

[APPLAUSE]

THAT'S TRUE.

THAT'S WHY EVERY WOMAN WANTS

TO SEE HER MAN IN A TOOL BELT.

WE DO.

WE DON'T GIVE A DAMN IF Y'ALL

CAN FIX ANYTHING, JUST WEAR IT.

JUST WEAR IT.

ALL YOU GOTTA DO IS PULL OUT

THE WRENCH AND TAP ON A FEW

THINGS.

THAT'S ALL YOU GOTTA DO.

YOU GONNA GET YOU SOME IN THE

MORNIN' I PROMISE.

I WANNA HAVE SOME OF THEM GOOD

OLD DAYS MY MAMA TOLD ME ABOUT.

WHOO, BACK IN THE GOOD OLD DAYS

WHEN A MAN WAS INTERESTED

IN YOU, HE WOULD JUST WALK UP

TO YOU, SNIFF YOU.

IF HE LIKED YOU, HE'D CLUB YOU

OVER THE HEAD AND DRAG YOU OFF

TO THE CAVE.

[APPLAUSE]

BUT NOW I WILL BE AGGRESSIVE

IF NEED BE.

BUT YOU DON'T EVER KNOW REALLY

HOW FAR TO TAKE IT.

'CAUSE ONE TIME I WAS AT THE

SHOW AND, YOU KNOW, I FINISHED

AND I WENT BACK TO MY HOTEL.

AND I WAS JUST CHILLIN'.

I WAS IN THE HOTEL LOBBY AND

I MET THIS NICE GUY.

AND WE WAS TALKING AND STUFF.

YOU KNOW AND I WAS BUYIN' HIM

DRINKS AND WE WAS GIGGLIN' AND

LAUGHIN' AND I WAS BUYIN' HIM

MORE DRINKS.

AND YOU KNOW I GOT HIM UP TO

MY ROOM, 'CAUSE I WAS BASICALLY

MOVIN' IN FOR THE KILL.

AND ALL OF A SUDDEN HE WANTED

TO-- "WAIT, LET'S TALK.

I DON'T KNOW YOU."

WAIT, HOLD ON.

YOU DIDN'T SAY THAT WHEN I WAS

BUYIN' YOU ALL OF THEM DRINKS.

NOW GET UP ON THE BED AND PULL

YOUR PANTS OFF.

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

YOU AIN'T BE GOING AROUND

TEASIN' BITCHES.

UM...

[LAUGHTER]

I DON'

Loading...