Gina Yashere - American Fat

  • Season 4 , Ep 0408
  • 12/11/2009
  • Views: 9,033

The great thing about Americans is that when they get fat, they get really frickin' fat. (3:12)

I've learned a lotsince moving to America.

What else have I learned?What else have I learned?

I've learned your healthsystem is crap.

Yep, I've learned that.I'm from England.

We have free socializedhealthcare in England.

I get sick,I go to the hospital.

I don't have to thinkabout nothing.

Yeah.(applause)

I made the mistake of gettingsick here in America last year.

And I was-- I didn't wantto go to the hospital.

I ended up going, and the doctorwas speaking to me

and all I'm hearing is, "Toilet,toilet, toilet, toilet,

toilet, toilet, toilet, toilet,toilet, toi..."

He's going, "Gina, we'regoing to have to put you

on a heart monitor."

I'm like, "Heart monitor?!

"Doctor, can I takethe heart monitor home?

"Can I-- can I do thismyself, Doctor?

I will call you if I die.Can we do that?"

I spent one night in hospital.

They tried to charge me $15,000

for one night in hospital.

And I shared a room with anold lady who farted all night.

That is not valuefor money, people.

15 grand for farty bitch?No.

I was like, this woman is likea human machine gun.

Take a picture, quick,take a picture.(laughter)

(applause)

What else have I--what else have I learned

since we've been to America?

Oh, yeah,I've learned in America,

when you guys get fat,

you get really freakin' fat.

(laughter)

Humongous.

Cartoon fat, cartoon.

I know why, though,I know why.

I watch a lot of television.

All your commercials are food.

Every other commercial is food.

Like, you've got this Subway$5 foot-long sandwich, right?

Yeah? $5...

This is why you guys are so fat.

This is the only countryin the world

that measures its food in feet.

(laughter)

Obesity is an epidemicin this country.

It is.

And it's now--it's now trickling down

to races of people

that aren't normally predisposedto it, right?

The other day-- you'renot going to believe this,

you're not goingto believe this--

the other day I sawa fat Chinese kid.

(laughter)

They do not exist

outside of America.

I was like... (gasps)

"Oh, my God, that isa fat Chinese kid.

"He is humongous.(laughter)

"I am going to die in America.

(laughter)

Take a picture, quick,take a picture."

I swear to God, if I seea fat crackhead,

I'm going back to England.

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