Whitney Cummings - Stuff Guys Don't Know

Whitney Cummings: I Love You Season 1, Ep 1 06/28/2014 Views: 36,120

Whitney Cummings compares the incredibly critical female inner monologue to its carefree male counterpart. (2:13)

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I just feel like there's a lotof stuff you guys don't know.

You know there's a lot of stuffyou guys don't know

and I feel likeif you knew about it,

you'd be a little lessfrustrated with us, you know?

Like, you guys don't knowabout the voices.

No one told youabout that shit, huh?

You think it's badwhen our mouths are moving--

no, that's the best casescenario.

It's when our mouths are shutthat you need to be concerned.

Because that meanswe're ( bleep ) thinking.

That's when allthe problems start.

Because I feel likein this culture

girls are taught to beso self-critical.

We compare ourselves to such animpossible physical ideal

that we're alwaysjudging ourselves.

You know, I'm so insecureat this point

I just have this constantinner monologue

saying the meanest shit to meall the time.

It's just like, "Hey, Whitney,

"your thighs are touching...

"You probably shouldn'thave had that cheese

"last night,you ( bleep ) pig.

"You haven't goneto the gym yet today--

"that's an interesting choice.

"I guess you're justgoing to die alone.

"Even if a man does marry you,you're so loud

he's going to leave youfor an Asian girl."


Just the meanest stuff,constantly.

But I feel like guys don't havethat same insecurity, you know?


I don't think guys areself-critical like that.

I feel like guys' innermonologue is totally different.

I feel like guys'inner monologue is like,

"What's up, bro?"

"Looking awesome!

"Really killing it today,per usual.

"Dude, I don't thinkyou need to shave today--

"that weird black hair growingout of your back looks cool.

"Dude, do notshave your face.

"( Bleep ) your girlfriendand her bloody chin.

"( Bleep ) her!

"Dude, I'm thinkingyou should wear

"those awesomecargo shorts again today.

With socks and sandals."