Brian Regan - Kennedys

Brian Regan: Standing Up Season 1, Ep 1 06/09/2007 Views: 19,552

Brian Regan wonders if the Kennedys used to practice their speeches around the dinner table when they were kids. (1:54)

"Ask not what your countrycan do for you.

Ask what you can dofor your country."

And then Robert Kennedywas credited with,

"Some people look at thingsthe way they areand ask, 'Why?'

I look at thingsthat never wereand ask, 'Why not?'"

It's powerful,but it must have been weirdgrowing up with them,

you know, speaking in flip-flopsaround the dinner table.

"Ask not if someonecan pass the saltand pepper to you.

Ask if you can passthe salt and pepperto someone."

"Some people lookat creamed cornand ask, 'Why?'

I look at creamed cornand ask, 'Why not?'"

And then Ted's, like,"There any more rolls?"

I gotta learn moreabout politics.

I hear about fund-raiserswhere it's $1,000 a plate.

Wow. $1,000 a plate.

I would have to sendthe food back just out ofthe principle of the thing.

"Excuse me, please.Just take this away."

"Is there a problemwith your meal, sir?"

"Uh, well--[ Chuckles ]

"It's good.It just ain't $1,000 good.

"Go add something.

Put some kind of glazeon there or something."

For $1,000, I would wantevery bite to be like this.

[ Laughing, Whooping ]

"That is so good I'm crying!

"I am voting for you.

"Those policies are nuts,but this is fantastic!

"Oh, my God,this is delicious!

Fire up your Taser."