The Amazing Johnathan - Psychic Bambi

Amazing Jonathan & Marc Maron Season 1, Ep 0108 02/24/1992 Views: 7,099

Two playing cards stapled over your eyes counts as a blindfold. (5:05)

THANK YOU VERY MUCH, THANK YOU.

PLEASE, SIT DOWN.

NO, REALLY,THIS IS EMBARRASSING.

SIT.

THANK YOU.

WELL, I'VE GOT TO GETTO THE HOSPITAL REAL SOON.

NOT TO SOUND LIKE RICHARD

BUT THIS MOLE ON THE BACKOF MY NECK IS REALLY--

IT'S DRIVING ME CRAZY.

IS THAT NOTICEABLE?

BECAUSE IT'S DRIVING ME NUTS.

( screams )

( laughter )

OH, LOOK AT "MR. LET'S GET HEREEARLY AND GET THOSE GOOD SEATS"!

YOU'RE GOING TO HATETHIS STUFF, BOY, OH, BOY.

DID YOU SEE THE MOLE OVER THERE?

GOOD, BECAUSE A LOT OF COMICSWON'T DO MOLE HUMOR ANYMORE.

WELL, WE'RE GOING TO START

WITH A REALLY COOL MAGIC TRICKTHIS EVENING.

YOU, SIR, WITH THE BLACK SHIRT.

DO YOU HAVE A HANDKERCHIEF?

ALL RIGHT, DO THIS.

YOU GOT SOMETHING HANGING.

( laughter )

IT'S BUGGING ME.

( wild laughter )

COOL.

NO, BECAUSE IT'S REALLY--

IT'S HARD TO CONCENTRATEON THE MOLE THING

WITH THIS THING SWINGINGBACK AND FORTH LIKE THAT.

DID YOU SEE THE MOLE THINGWAY BACK THERE?

OKAY, GOOD.

WE'RE GOING TO NOWBRING OUT A SPECIAL GUEST.

THIS IS A REALLY,REALLY COOL PART OF THE SHOW.

IT'S A YOUNG LADY WHO'S GOTPSYCHIC ABILITIES BEYOND BELIEF.

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,PLEASE LET'S HAVE A HAND

FOR MY PARTNER, PSYCHIC BAMBI.

( wild cheering and applause )

COME ON OUT HERE.

( whistling, cheering )

PSYCHIC BAMBI,LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.

HOW ARE YOU?

HI!

HI.

PSYCHIC BAMBI, TWOOUT OF THREE, TONIGHT?

YES.

MAYBE THREEOUT OF THREE.

IF YOU GUESSTHREE OUT OF THREE

SOMETHING EXTRAIN THE ENVELOPE

AT THE ENDOF THE WEEK.

WELL, I HAVEA BLINDFOLD HERE.

I USUALLY HAVE ITWITH ME.

I TELL YOU WHAT.

INSTEAD OF USINGTHE BLINDFOLD

WE'LL TAKE AND STAPLE...

( cries out )

THESE TWO PLAYING CARDSOVER YOUR EYES.

OKAY, I THINK THATQUALIFIES LEGALLY

AS A BLINDFOLD.

ALL RIGHT, NOW.

HERE, JUSTTO KEEP THOSE ON

WE'LL JUST...OKAY, WE'LL JUST...

RIGHT LIKE THAT

AND NOW, I'LL TELL YOUWHAT WE'RE GOING TO DO.

WE GOING TO PUT THISSHEET OVER YOUR HEAD

LIKE THIS.

OKAY, NOW YOU HOLDTHE SHEET UP THERE.

CAN YOU SEEANYTHING AT ALL?

NO.

GOOD.

LET'S NOW HOLD UPAN OBJECT

AND SEE IF PSYCHIC BAMBICAN GET THE OBJECT.

UH... HERE'SSOMETHING HERE.

PSYCHIC BAMBI,CAN YOU HEAR ME?

YES.

I'M HOLDING AN OBJECTUP ABOVE YOUR HEAD.

CAN YOU TELL MEWHAT IT IS, PLEASE?

UM... THE THREEOF DIAMONDS.

( laughter )

NO.

CONCENTRATE,PSYCHIC BAMBI.

UM... TWOOF DIAMONDS?

IT'S NOT A CARDAT ALL, PSYCHIC BAMBI.

THINK... THINK,WHAT IS IT?

UM... COULD I FEELTHE OBJECT, PLEASE?

YOU HAVE TO FEELTHE OBJECT.

I GUESSTHAT'S LEGAL.

( people exclaim surprise )

( laughter )

WHAT WAS THAT,PSYCHIC BAMBI?

WAIT A MINUTE,WAIT A MINUTE.

( laughter )

WHAT DO YOU THINKTHAT THAT WAS?

UH... AN APPLE?

AN APPLE!

YES!

( cheering and applause )

HOW DOES SHE DO THAT?

HOW DOESSHE DO THAT?

OKAY.

LET'S TRY ANOTHER ONE.

( laughter )

PSYCHIC BAMBI, WEREALLY NEED TO BAKE

WITH THIS NEXT ONE,OKAY, COOKIE?

SO... SHUT UP, WATCH.

SO CONCENTRATEAND TELL ME

WHAT IS IN MY HAND,PSYCHIC BAMBI.

SORRY.

I THOUGHT SHEWAS BACK FARTHER.

UH...

UM... A PIZZA?

( laughter )

( imitating Bambi ):NO, IT'S NOT A PIZZA.

IT'S NOT A PIZZA!

CONCENTRATE.

UH...

COOKIE...

A SPOON?

NO.

OH, COULD I FEELTHE OBJECT?

( laughter )

WHAT WAS THAT?

( whimpering )

UH... A BAKING PAN.

WHAT WAS IT?

A BAKING PAN?

YES, A BAKING PAN--TWO FOR TWO.

( wild cheering and applause )

OKAY

IF SHE CAN GETTHREE FOR THREE

THAT'S PRETTY DARN GOOD,HUH, FOLKS?

CONCENTRATE,PSYCHIC BAMBI

AND TELL ME WHAT IT IS

I HAVE UPTO MY FOREHEAD.

CAN YOU VISUALIZETHE OBJECT?

( groaning )

SORRY.

WHAT IS IT?

A MICROWAVE.

NO... HOW THE HELLCOULD IT BE A MICROWAVE?

OOH... A PILLOW?

YOU WISH IT WASA PILLOW.

( laughter )

DO I HAVE TO FEELTHE OBJECT?

DO YOU HAVE TO FEELTHE OBJECT?

WELL, I THINKTHAT WOULD HELP,PSYCHIC BAMBI

( grunting )

WHAT DID THATFEEL LIKE?

SCISSORS.

SCISSORS!

YES.

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN...

( cheering and applause )

PSYCHIC BAMBI!

( wild cheering and applause )

SHE'S TERRIFIC.

I DON'T KNOW HOW SHE DOES THAT.

MAYBE SHE CAN SEE THROUGHTHE SHEET OR SOMETHING.

WHO KNOWS?