Godfrey - The X-Games

  • Season 9 , Ep 4
  • 02/17/2005
  • Views: 16,507

The X-Games personifies white dude's desperation. (3:00)

I WANTED TO BE AN ASTRONAUT.

YEAH.

I WANTED TO BE AN ASTRONAUT.

EVERYONE'S LIKE, YEAH RIGHT!

YEAH, BUT EVERY TIMETHE SPACE SHUTTLE BLOWS UP

THERE'S A BLACK DUDE ON IT.

[LAUGHTER]IT WAS LIKE IN 87, LAST YEAR.

I'M LIKE, "DOES NASA STAND FOR[BLEEP] AIN'T SUPPOSED TO BE

ASTRONAUTS?"[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

IT'S IN TEXAS SO I WOULDN'TDOUBT IT.

"HOUSTON WE GOT A PROBLEM.

YEAH, THERE'S A BROTHER ON IT,BLOW IT UP."

"WE DON'T WANT NO GRAFFITION THE MOON, THAT'S ALL WE..."

[BREAKS INTO BANJO MUSIC][LAUGHTER]

THAT'S WHY THEY KEEP US OUT OFSTUFF MAN, 'CAUSE LIKE

THE X GAMES, I WATCH THAT.

I'M NOT IMPRESSED.

THAT'S A WHITE DUDE'SDESPERATION.

THEY'RE RUNNING OUT OF SPORTS.

THEY GOTTA FIND SOMETHING THATBLACK DUDES WON'T TOUCH.

THEY'RE LIKE "I HAVE AN IDEA."

THEY'RE IN A HACKY SACK CIRCLE.

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]"WE GOTTA FIND SOMETHING

THAT BLACK DUDES WON'T TOUCH.

"HOW'S THIS, LET'S GETA SKATEBOARD, JUMP OUT OF

A HELICOPTER INTO A GARBAGE CAN.

THEY'LL NEVER TOUCH THAT."

SEE LOOK AT GOLF, IT'S BLACKNOW.

SORRY, IT'S BLACK.

YES, WE'RE CHANGING THE NAME,G-O-F, YES.

[LAUGHTER]WHAT YOU PLAYING?

GOLF.

I DON'T SAY GALFA, NAH.

[LAUGHTER]CADDY CARS GONNA HAVE

SOUND SYSTEM, NICE, WE AIN'TCUTTIN' THE GRASS.

WE DID THAT WHEN WE WEREN'TINVITED SO...

AND LOOK AT WOMEN'STENNIS...MMM... YEAH.

WHEN I USED WATCH WOMEN'S TENNISIT WAS LIKE WATCHING A

SOFT PORN.

[LAUGHTER]I WOULD FADE TO BLACK AND JUST

LISTEN TO THE SOUND.

[POPPING NOISE] "AHH!"[LAUGHTER]

[POPPING NOISE] "AHH!"[POPPING NOISE] "AHHH!"

[POPPING NOISE] "AHHHH!"[POPPING NOISE] "AHHHHH!"

ADVANTAGE ME!

[MANIACAL LAUGHTER][LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

YOU WATCH THE WILLIAMS SISTERS,THEY AIN'T NO JOKE.

THAT'S A WHOLE A DIFFERENTLEVEL.

[GROANING ANIMAL NOISES]

[GROANS LOUDER]

[GROANS LOUDER]

DRINKING FROM THE WIMBLEDON CUP.

[LAUGHTER]

STRONG AS HELL.

[LAUGHTER CONTINUES]FOR NEW YEARS I WENT TO TOKYO,

WHICH WAS DOPE.

I WAS GOING TO GO TO THEMIDDLE EAST YA KNOW.

[LAUGHTER]I WAS, BUT I CAN'T BE

COUNTING DOWN WITH NOBODYFROM THE MIDDLE EAST.

YOU'RE LIKE, "10, 9"--[ACCENT] "8, 7, 6"--

"WHAT THE HELL YOU COUNTING DOWNFOR?"

"OH I'M SORRY, 5, 4...

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]I'M SORRY.

I'M SORRY.

SO SORRY.

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

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