John Oliver - Election Year

  • Season 3 , Ep 2
  • 07/27/2012
  • Views: 31,536

John Oliver reveals the successful formula for every good campaign ad. (2:39)

IT'S AN ELECTION YEAR.

(audience whoos)

FEEL THE ENTHUSIASM PULSETHROUGH THIS ROOM.

WHOO! "YES.

YES...CAN'T WAIT."

YOU SHOULD BE LOOKING FORWARDTO THIS ELECTION

BECAUSE AMERICA DOESDEMOCRACY

BETTER THAN ANY OTHER NATIONON EARTH.

JUST LOOK BACK--JUST LOOK BACKTO WHERE IT STARTS.

EVERY ELECTION CYCLE--IOWA.

ONCE EVERY FOUR YEARS,

ALL OF A SUDDEN WE DECIDE TO,OUT OF NOWHERE,

GIVE A (bleep) ABOUT IOWA.

AND I THINK I KNOW WHY.

IT'S THE IOWA CAUCUSES,THEY'RE SO FOLKSY.

THERE IS NOTHING MORE FOLKSYTHAN THE IOWA CAUCUS.

NEIGHBORS GATHERINGIN EACH OTHER'S HOMES,

DISCUSSING WHOTHEY WANT TO VOTE FOR,

WRITING DOWN THEIR CHOICESON PIECES OF PAPER,

HAVING THOSE PIECESOF PAPER COUNTED UP

BY OTHER LOCAL VOLUNTEERS.

IT'S PURE AMERICANA.

IT COULDN'T BEANY MORE FOLKSY OR WHOLESOME

UNLESS HUCKLEBERRY FINNSUDDENLY WALKED IN

CARRYING A FRESHLY BAKEDAPPLE PIE

AND STARTEDDROPPING THE N-WORD.

(laughing)

PLUS, LOOK AT THE CAMPAIGN ADSTHAT WE HAVE TO LOOK FORWARD TO.

CAMPAIGN ADS ARE THE BACKBONEOF AMERICAN DEMOCRACY.

IF AMERICAN DEMOCRACY SUFFEREDA GIGANTIC SPINAL INJURY.

AND YET WE'VE GOT GOODAT THEM NOW,

I THINK THERE'S A FORMULA NOW,A SUCCESSFUL FORMULA

FOR EVERY GOOD CAMPAIGN AD,

AND YOU CAN REMEMBER THATFORMULA

WITH A VERY SIMPLE ACRONYM,

AND THAT ACRONYM IS F-L-A-G-S.

F IS FOR FLAGS,LOTS OF FLAGS.

LOTS AND LOTS OF FLAGS.

L IS FOR LOTS OF FLAGS,

SERIOUSLY AN UNBELIEVABLEAMOUNTS OF FLAGS.

A IS FOR AMERICAN FLAGS.

CHINESE FLAGS CAN GO(bleep) THEMSELVES.

THEY CAN GO BACK TO RUSSIA WHERETHEY CAME FROM.

G IS FOR GOD...

IN FLAG FORM.

GOD LOVES AMERICAN FLAGS.

WHY ELSE WOULD HE HAVE CREATEDCHINESE CHILDREN

TO MAKE THEM FOR YOU.

AND S IS FOR SERIOUSLY ANUNBELIEVABLE AMOUNTS OF FLAGS,

AN ALMOST SARCASTIC AMOUNTSOF FLAGS.

THINK ABOUT A NUMBER OF FLAGSTHAT WOULD ACTUALLY BE OFFENSIVE

AND THEN REMOVE ONE FLAG.

THAT'S HOW MANY FLAGS YOU NEED.THAT IS HOW MANY.

(applause)

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