Mitch Fatel - Vibrator Crane

  • Season 11, Ep 19
  • 04/05/2007
  • Views: 28,163

Finding your girlfriend's vibrator can be very intimidating. (1:56)

LIKE, DO YOU KNOW THAT THE AVERAGE WOMAN

TAKES THREE SHOWERS A DAY? THAT'S A FACT.

AND I KNOW WHY, TOO. I READ IT IN COSMO.

IT SAID THAT 83 PERCENT OF ALL WOMEN MASTURBATE IN THE SHOWER.

- THAT'S WONDERFUL. - [LAUGHTER]

I CAN'T MASTURBATE IN THE SHOWER 'CAUSE MY LEGS GIVE OUT

AND THEN I RIP DOWN THE SHOWER CURTAIN.

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

AND THEN MY MOM GETS MAD.

AND I HAVE TO GO TO BEDWITHOUT DINNER.

I DON'T EVEN UNDERSTANDWHY GIRLS MASTURBATE.

JUST CALL. I WANNA HELP YOU IN YOUR TIME OF NEED.

THAT'S HOW I AM.THAT'S HOW I WAS RAISED.

AND IF YOU'RE GONNA MASTURBATE LADIES,

DON'T USE THOSE SEX TOYS, 'CAUSE YOU GET USED TO THOSE,

AND THEN WE CAN NEVER LIVE UP TO THAT.

BECAUSE NO MATTER HOW HARD I TRYI CANNOT MAKE MY PENIS VIBRATE.

MAYBE AFTER LIKE 12 RED BULLS I CAN GET LIKE A BUZZ GOING.

BUT THEN I'M UP ALL NIGHT AND I HAVE TO PEE A LOT.

[LAUGHTER]

AND IF YOU'RE GONNA USE THEM,THEN AT LEAST HIDE THEM FROM US.

I FOUND MY GIRLFRIEND'S VIBRATOR.

OH, MY GOD. IT WAS THE SIZEOF MY ARM. I WAS LIKE,

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING WHEN I'M NOT HERE?" SHE GOES,

"DON'T WORRY. I THINK ABOUT YOU WHEN I USE IT." I WAS LIKE,

"WHAT AM I DOING, WORKING THE CRANE

- THAT LOWERS YOU ONTO IT?" - [LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

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