I... uh... I went to... I wentto an all-boys' school and
I'm not sure you everreally get over that.
You know, on some level forthe rest of my life,
every time I walk in toa room like, "hey!
"Oh, girls, oh, what doyou do, what do you do?
"Uh... draw a penis on their...
"No, you don't draw a penis."
That's... single-sex schoolsare so weird.
They're almost... like, I findsomething sort of barbaric
about them, you know?
It annoys me a lot whenpeople go,
"yeah, but academically, boysand girls do much better when
"they're kept apart."
"Oh, yeah, what's moreimportant:
"getting a C in history or beingable to relate to 50%
"of the world's population?"
[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]
I'll leave you with a song.
This is, uh, this is a lovesong.
You can take it right down.
♪ I just heard about himtoday from your friend ♪
♪ Who thought I knew
♪ And, you know, yeah, it'sgreat that you've been able ♪
♪ To move on so fast,but I have ♪
♪ Another question for you
♪ What has this prick got thatI haven't got? ♪
♪ Oh, he works in a book shop,does he? ♪
♪ Well, roop-de-doo!
♪ I've got millions of books and ♪
♪ I let people readthem for free ♪
♪ Oh, he's got a Vespa!
♪ He's got one of those fancy,imported Italian scooters! ♪
♪ I've got a car!
♪ At least, I think he's got aVespa ♪
♪ He's sitting on one inthe picture of him ♪
♪ I found on the internet
♪ I've got a few questionsabout him ♪
♪ Does he have conversationalFrench? ♪
♪ Non! ♪
♪ Neither do I, butI have the accent ♪
♪ And that's the hard part
♪ How's his parking?
♪ You know how good my parkingis: in from the front ♪
♪ In through the back, makes noodds ♪
♪ Why would you throw all ofthis away? ♪
♪ Has he ever written you asong? ♪
♪ I've written you millions ofthe pricks! ♪
♪ This one's a bad example
♪ You just can't see thatI've changed ♪
♪ I'm basically acompletely different guy ♪
♪ Who just happensto look the same ♪
♪ With the same voiceand the same name ♪
♪ But there, the similarityends ♪
♪ I'm into new things now,like dancing and salad ♪
♪ And tidying and feelings
♪ The only thing he has that Idon't have... ♪
♪ Is you.
Thank you very much.