HI.HI.
WELCOME TO MISS SARAH'SBABY SHOWER.
MY NAME IS DORA.
AND "LIQUOR IN THE FRONT.POKER IN THE REAR."
WELCOME. SIT DOWN, PLEASE.
SARAH.
ANOTHER PRESENT.
SARAH, SARAH,I HAVE TO TELL YOU.
I DON'T KNOW IF THIS
WAS A GOOD IDEA
OR THE WORST IDEAIMAGINABLE,
BUT YOU ARE GONNA NEEDFRIENDS.
THAT IS TRUE, JAY.
IT DOES TAKE A VILLAGE
TO RAISE A CHILD.
AND THAT'S WHY I HAVE
A MEXICAN VILLAGER!
AND WE LIVEIN VALLEY VILLAGE!
OH, MY GOD!
WHAT ARE YOUSMILIN' ABOUT?
I'LL TELL YOUWHY I'M SMILING.
I'M ABOUT TO GO HOME AND DELIVERA BROWN BABY OF MY OWN.
WHY DON'T YOUJUST HAVE THAT THING HERE
INSTEAD OF STINKIN' UPOUR PLACE?UGH.
THIS IS NOT AN AWAY GAMESITUATION, DUDE.
NAME IT AFTER ME.
THAT REMINDS MEOF THE BEST STORY.
OH, YAY.
SO I HATE CHINESE FOOD,WHICH YOU KNOW,
BECAUSE IT'S JUST LIKE, WHY?
AND IT HITS MY STOMACH
AND MY STOMACH IS, LIKE,THIS ISN'T CEREAL.
IT'S TOO RICH.
[baby cries]
SO THEY HAND METHIS PAPER THING.
I LOOK IIDE.IT'S CHOPSTICKS.
I HAVE NO IDEA HOW YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO EAT
WITH TWO STICKS, RIGHT?
[baby cries] SO I'M PLAYING THE DRUMS ON THE PLATE.
AND, UH, I DON'T KNOWWHAT TO DO WITH IT.
FINALLY, THEY GIVE UP ON ME.
YOU KNOW, THEY'RE LIKE, ALL RIGHT,
WE'RE TAKING THE CHOPSTICKS,YOU'RE GETTING A FORK.
SO I'M USING THE FORK,
AND I'M USING THE FORK,
AND EVERYTHING'S GREAT.[baby cries]
NEXT THING I KNOW,I'M LOSING THE FORK.
I HAVE NO IDEAWHERE I'VE PUT IT.
AND I'M, LIKE,SILVER WHERE?
SILVERWARE, YOU KNOW.
ZING.
[humming]
ALL RIGHT. ENOUGH FOREPLAY.
LET'S GET DOWN TO BUSINESS.
[grunts, back cracks]
AAH!
OH. ANOTHER GIFTFOR THE BABY.
[cell phone beeps]
(Brian)UH, SARAH, I GOTTA GO.
STEVE, UH,
[blows raspberry]
[cries mockingly]
I'LL--I'LL TELL YOU LATER.
WELL, SINCE THISIS SUCH A SPECIAL
AND CHALLENGING TIMEFOR US ALL,
I HAVE HIREDA MOTIVATIONAL SPEAKER
TO COME IN AND ENLIGHTEN ALL OF US.
SO WITH NO FURTHER ADO,
MR. MATT FOLEY!
AHA HA HA!
MY NAME IS MATT FOLEY.
AND I LIVE IN A VANDOWN BY THE RIVER.
[cheers and applause]
WHAT IS THIS--IS THIS SUPPOSED TO BE
THE CHRIS FARLEY CHARACTERFROM SNL?
YEAH. DORA ALWAYS DOES ITAT PARTIES.
IT'S SO FUNNY.
LA-DEE FREAKIN' DA!
[laughter]
I LIVE IN A VAN
DOWN BY THE RIVER.
DORA?