Dillon Garcia - Designated Black Person

Dillon Garcia, Paul Varghese & Rudy Moreno Season 1, Ep 2 10/13/2011 Views: 17,978

Dillon Garcia wishes that he could have a black person follow him around and say all the things he can't. (1:16)

black women always so busy?

For real, they're always going,

"Man, I ain't got timefor this (bleep)."


Baby, you're at a bus stop.


You got a little bitof time for me.


I wish I had, like, a...like, a designated black person

to follow me around to saythe stuff I wantto say...

but I can't.

'Cause black people don't havefilters, they just say it.

Can you imagine that?

Like, I'm breaking upwith a girl.

"You know what, baby, uh,

"economy's gettingreal tough right now.

"I just, it's gettingreal hard for me, I just...

I just can't do it,"and the black guy

comes out of nowhere,he's, like,

"Bitch, you ugly.


"That's whathe was trying to say.

But he ain't black."

Last thing, man--you guys all know

black people always talklike they're putting on lotion?

You know that, right? They go,"Hey, man, you remember that

"we was talking about last week,player, remember what we

"was talking about?We're fittin' do it really big,

"homie-- I ain't messingwith you no more, cuz.

(cheering, whooping)"Come on, now.

Hey, come on, man."