Jared Logan - Toys for Girls & Boys

  • Season 1 , Ep 1
  • 10/09/2012
  • Views: 14,666

Jared Logan describes the quintessential toy commercial for each gender. (1:42)

IF YOU DISAGREE,

WATCH COMMERCIALS THATARE TARGETED AT LITTLE GIRLS.

A COMMERCIAL FOR, LIKE,A TOY OR A GAME

FOR A LITTLE GIRL,

ALWAYS SEEMS LIKE IT CAMEFROM ANOTHER WORLD

WHERE FEMINISMJUST NEVER HAPPENED.

A COMMERCIAL FOR A GAMEFOR A LITTLE GIRL,

IT ALWAYS SOUNDS LIKE THIS.IT'S ALWAYS LIKE,

"HEY, GIRLS!

"IT'S THE SHOP TILL YOU COOK GAME!

"THE ONLY GAME THAT COMBINESSHOPPING AND COOKING--

"THE ONLY TWO THINGSA WOMAN CAN DO.

"MOVE YOUR CHEERLEADER TOKENAROUND THE SHOPPING MALL,

"SEARCHING FOR THE INGREDIENTSTO MAKE THE PERFECT DESSERT.

"DON'T LAND ON THE CAREER PATH

"OR ELIGIBLE MEN WILL THINKYOU'RE A LESBIAN.

[laughter and applause]

AND THEN BOYS--

BOYS' TOYS,TOYS FOR BOYS--

THE COMMERICIALS FOR THOSEARE JUST AS EVIL,

BUT, LIKE, IN THE EXACTOPPOSITE DIRECTION.

IT'S ALWAYS FOR, LIKE,SOME ACTION FIGURE, RIGHT?

AND IT'S ALWAYS GOT SOME, LIKE,BADASS SONG TO GO ALONG WITH IT,

AND IT'S ALWAYS HORRIFYING.IT'S ALWAYS LIKE--

♪ KILLGORETHE MURDER TROOPER ♪

♪ HE USES GUNS

♪ TO SHOOT HIS ENEMIESIN THE FACE WITH ACID ♪

♪ AND HE DRIVES A TRUCK

♪ MADE OF SNAKESMADE OF METAL ♪

♪ IF YOU DON'T OWN KILLGORE,YOU'RE A [bleep] ♪

WE'VE ALL SEENTHAT COMMERCIAL.

YOU GUYS WERE WONDERFUL.SEE YOU LATER.

[cheers and applause]

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