Aparna Nancherla - Office Awkwardness

King Cake, Baby! Season 2, Ep 1 09/09/2014 Views: 10,425

Aparna Nancherla got into stand-up to pursue her dream of doing temporary office work during the day. (2:18)

PEOPLE GET INTO STAND-UPFOR A LOT OF DIFFERENT REASONS.

MOSTLY TO ESCAPE YOUR PAST,

SOMETIMES TO HIDEFROM YOUR FUTURE.

BUT I KIND OFDID THINGS BACKWARDS.

LIKE, I GOT INTO STAND-UP COMEDYTO PURSUE MY REAL DREAM,

WHICH IS TO DO TEMPORARYADMINISTRATIVE SUPPORT

IN AN OFFICE.[laughter]

THANK YOU.

THAT IS WHERE I TRULY EXCEL.

I WORKED IN A LOT OF OFFICES,THOUGH.

AND I WOULD SAY MY MAIN REGRETIS I'VE NEVER DONE THIS.

LIKE, I WISH JUST ONE TIME,WHEN I'D BEEN SITTING

IN A TENSE COMPANY MEETING,I'D STOOD UP

IN THE MIDDLE OF IT,APROPOS OF NOTHING, AND GONE,

"I THINK THE BIGGER ISSUEHERE IS,

I CAN'T READ."

[laughter]

I LOVE OFFICES,'CAUSE AWKWARD STUFF LIKE THAT

HAPPENS ALL THE TIME,AND YOU CAN'T FULLY ADDRESS IT,

'CAUSE YOU HAVE TO SEETHOSE PEOPLE THE NEXT DAY.

LIKE, ONE TIME I WORKEDIN A DIFFERENT OFFICE--

TRY TO KEEP UP--AND THIS HAPPENED TO ME

IN AN ELEVATOR.

A WOMAN WALKED IN.

THEN I WALKED IN.

THEN A MAN WALKED IN.

SO FAR, ALL INNOCENT,THAT'S IMPORTANT.

BUTTON PANEL IS RIGHT HERE.

WOMAN PRESSES FIVE.I PRESS FOUR.

THE MAN'S TOO FAR AWAY.SO HE GOES, "SIX, PLEASE."

I WAS RAISED WELL,SO I PRESS SIX.

HE GOES, "WHY, THANK YOU."

AND THEN, UH, THE WOMAN GOES,

"OH, YOU'RE WELCOME."[laughter]

WHAT?

THAT IS AN EXAMPLEOF TAKING CREDIT

FOR SOMEONE ELSE'S WORKON THE SMALLEST SCALE POSSIBLE.

LIKE, SHE WAS USING MANNERS

IN A RUDE WAY!

I DON'T THINKTHAT'S HOW YOU DO IT.

WHAT ARE HER CIRCUMSTANCESTHAT SHE JUST

HAS TO STEAL OTHER PEOPLE'STHANK-YOUs IN ELEVATORS?

LIKE, WHEN SHE WALKED INWAS SHE JUST LIKE,

"I'M NOT HERE TO MAKE FRIENDS.I'M HERE TO WIN.

[laughter]

WHERE'S MY ROSE?"

AND LET ME JUST TELL YOU,THERE ARE A LOT OF

TIME AND SPACE CONSTRAINTSTO SEEKING REVENGE

IN AN ELEVATOR.

THERE'S NOTA LOT OF ROOM TO MOVE.

WE'RE ON THE CLOCK.SO I HAD TO THINK FAST,

GO STRAIGHT TO PRIMAL INSTINCT,SURVIVAL MODES.

YOU CAN'T JUDGE MEFOR WHAT I DID.

I JUST LOOKED HER DEADIN THE EYES,

AND I FARTED REALLY LOUDLY.[laughter]