Tommy Johnagin - Explaining iTunes on the Phone

Tommy Johnagin Season 3, Ep 3 06/13/2014 Views: 28,019

Tommy Johnagin has some trouble trying to help his mother with her computer problems. (2:08)

I had to explain iTunes to mymom on the phone recently

and that may bethe last phone call

we ever have together.

She... she wanted iTunes.

I said, "It's easy,just go online,

"find iTunes, download it,create a user name

and a passwordand you have iTunes."

And she said,"Are there spaces in that?"

She asked if there were spacesin a sentence

I said out loud to her,

because she was typing it all

into the browser bar,as I spoke.

Just, "w-w-w dot, go online,find iTunes, download it,

create a user nameand a password,"

and was gonna hit dot com

and just fling all of thatinto the Internet;

just, there'sall the information...

bring me iTunes by tomorrow.

And she hangs a lanternon her door.

At one point,she asked the question,

"Is there Internet on iTunes?"

Well, I'm gonnahang up now, Mom.

I'll call you on your birthday.

I said, "No, there's notInternet on iTunes,"

and she said,"So should I cancel

my Internet?"

Well, that's actuallythe best idea you've ever had.

You should cancel your Internet,

then throw your computerout of a window

and beat it with a stick.

I would rather pay a bandto play for my mom

every night of her life,

than to explain iTunesto this woman one more time.

She called me an hour laterand she goes,

"I downloaded a song,

is it supposed to open inMicrosoft Works?"

No. No, it is notsupposed to open

in Microsoft Works.

I don't even know howyou made that happen.

I'm not smart enoughto be dumb enough

to work backwards...

...and understandthe amount of things

you did wrong in a row...

to open a songin Microsoft Works.

Bill Gatescouldn't open a song...

in Microsoft Works.

How many times didyour computer say,

"Are you sure?"...

before that waseven allowed to happen?

The computer's like,

"I don't think we're supposedto be here, lady."