Dan Naturman - Job Interviews

  • Season 9, Ep 11
  • 04/14/2005
  • Views: 4,631

The hardest part about the corporate world is the interview. (1:22)

I TRIED TO GET LIKE A

CORPORATE JOB BUT YOU KNOW WHAT

ALWAYS MESSED ME UP WAS THE

INTERVIEW PART.

I SEE A LOT OF CORPORATE PEOPLE

HERE TONIGHT.

I TRIED TO BE IN THE

CORPORATE WORLD BUT THE

INTERVIEW ALWAYS MESSED ME UP.

LIKE ONE TIME I WAS AT A

JOB INTERVIEW AND THE GUY'S

GIVING ME FLACK, TELLS ME

I'M NOT DRESSED APPROPRIATELY.

AND I TRIED TO EXPLAIN TO HIM

THAT MY KARATE CLASS RAN LATE.

AND I DIDN'T HAVE TIME TO

CHANGE.

PLUS, I'D ALWAYS SAY THE WRONG

THING AT JOB INTERVIEWS, TOO.

FOR EXAMPLE, HERE'S SOMETHING

YOU SHOULD NEVER SAY AT A JOB

INTERVIEW, "UH, CAN I HAVE MY

RESUME BACK, IT'S MY ONLY COPY."

SOMETHING YOU SHOULD NEVER SAY.

[LAUGHTER]

PLUS ANOTHER THING YOU SHOULD

NEVER SAY AT A JOB INTERVIEW,

"NOW ABOUT THE MEDICAL BENEFITS,

HOW'S THE PSYCHIATRIC COVERAGE?"

WHICH IT'S NEVER GOOD ANYWAY,

I DON'T KNOW IF YOU'VE NOTICED

THAT BUT IT'S ALWAYS TERRIBLE.

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

I WORKED IN AN ICE CREAM PARLOR

ONE SUMMER AND THAT'S A

STRESSFUL JOB.

YOU WOULDN'T THINK IT, BUT THE

CUSTOMERS ARE VERY DEMANDING AND

ONCE IN A WHILE I GOT TO ADMIT,

I WOULD SNAP ON THE CUSTOMERS.

I HATE TO SAY IT BUT ONE TIME

AFTER A LONG HARD DAY,

WOMAN COMES IN AND ASKS ME

"WHAT DO YOU RECOMMEND?"

I SAY, "WHAT DO I RECOMMEND?

BEN AND JERRY'S DOWN THE STREET,

NOW GET HELL OUT OF HERE.

[LAUGHTER]

IF YOU'VE EVER WORKED IN

A STORE TO, YOU'VE NOTICED THAT

YOU'LL SAY SOMETHING RUDE

TO A CUSTOMER, THEY ALWAYS SAY

THE SAME THING, DON'T THEY?

THEY'RE ALWAYS LIKE "WELL,

I'M NOT COMING BACK HERE AGAIN,

YOU JUST LOST A CUSTOMER."

I'D BE LIKE "NO, I DIDN'T LOSE

A CUSTOMER THE STORE LOST A

CUSTOMER.

I GAINED A BREAK.

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THAT?

[LAUGHTER]

NOW GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE."

[LAUGHTER CONTINUES]

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