Natasha Leggero - "Surrender"

The Comedy Jam Season 1, Ep 1 08/28/2016 Views: 4,967

When Natasha Leggero went home for her grandmother's funeral, she ended up getting her brother in trouble at a bar as Cheap Trick's "Surrender" played. (7:47)

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I'm from a town calledRockford, Illinois.

[cheers]

Not as big a response asjust--all right.

Cheap Trickis from Rockford, so...

That's the one good thing.

Rick Nielsen, one of thegreatest living guitar players.

He still lives there.

But my brother,he's the only other person

I know who lives--well,and he lives in a van

that he put an address on.

And...

you guys have, like,a problem child in your family?

Okay, Louie has to drinka 24-pack of Old Milwaukee.

A day.

Just to kind of--and it can onlybe Old Milwaukee.

Like, one time, I bought himTrader Joe's beer,

and he was like--[screams].

I recently went hometo my Nana's funeral,

and I was there, sitting--

we were theresitting in the pew,

and all of a sudden,we're in this Catholic church,

and Louie stands up,and he's in his court suit,

and he's like...

the whole family's, like,staring, like,

"what's gonna happen?"

They're in the middleof the eulogy,

and he's just like,"I [bleep] love you, Nana!"

[cheers and applause]

So then, we're at theafter party, or whatever.

What's the funeral, after the...

the body?

Okay.

So we're there,and Louie

has taken off his button-up,

so now he's got a t-shirt onthat has an AK-47 on it,

that reads, uh,"this is my other dick."

So...

I'm like, "Louie, wheredid you get that shirt?

Why are you wearing itat Nana's funeral?"

And he's like,"I got it at the Two Wheel Inn."

And I'm like,"What's the Two Wheel Inn?

I never heard of this place."

And he's like,"You know, it's my biker bar."

And I was like,"Oh, and they sell clothes?"

He's like, "Yeah.

Tons of racist t-shirts andpro-guns and Republican."

I'm like--as a comedian,I feel like it was my duty

to go see what was happening.

[cheers and applause]

So I walk into this bar,

and you remember in"Peewee's Big Adventure,"

when they play"Tequila," and like--

that's, like, what it was like.

Like, I walk in,and it's like a record stopped.

And I make my way to the bar,

and the woman's like,

"What're you doing here?"

And I was like, "Um..."

And I'm looking at her t-shirtselection behind her,

and I was like,"Uh, how much for the

"'speak English orget the [bleep] out' shirt?

I'm just trying to fit in."

And she's kind of rude to me,and I'm just sitting there,

I'm like,"This is a terrible idea."

And so then I try to, like,ingratiate myself,

I'm like, "Um, I'm Louie'ssister, by the way."

And all of a sudden,her whole demeanor changes,

and she's like,"Louie? We love Louie!"

And then she motions to, like,this whole group of

ZZ Top extras.

And she's like, "Guys, this is Louie's sister!"

And then allthese guys are like,

"Louie? Where the hellhas Louie been?"

And I was like, "You know,he's been spending the night

in Leaf River."

And then, all of a sudden,it got silent.

And this guy steps forward,who I can only describe as

obese Willie Nelson.

And he has--you know,like, his beard, is like,

every six inches is likea ponytail holder.

That look.

He steps forward,and he's like,

"Only one house in Leaf River,

and that belongs to my wife."

And I'm like,"Well, I'm sure you'd know if

Louie's been having sexwith your wife."

And he's like,"I work the night shift."

And then all of a sudden,everyone just starts, like,

there's, like, murmuring,and I'm like,

"Oh, my God,what's gonna happen?"

And then this woman,who's been sitting next to me

smoking a cigarette,has now fallen

and cracked her head open.

And her cigarette is stillfalling out of her mouth.

The bartender's like,"Barb fell again!"

And then everyone just gets up,helps Barb up,

and then, while all thatis happening,

Cheap Trick's "Surrender"comes on the jukebox, and...

[cheers and applause]

I realized,compared to these people,

Louie's all right.

He just seems a little weird.

And...

[cheers and applause]

Ladies and gentlemen,here to help me sing this song,

all the way fromRockford, Illinois,

please welcome, Cheap Trick'sown Rick Nielsen!

[cheers and applause]

[Cheap Trick's "Surrender"[playing]

♪ Mother told me

♪ Yes, she told me

♪ I'd meet girls like you ♪

♪ She also told me

♪ Stay away

♪ You'll never know what ♪

♪ You'll catch ♪

♪ Just the other day I heard

♪ Of a soldier's falling off ♪

♪ Some Indonesian junk

♪ That's going round ♪

♪ Mommy's all right ♪

♪ Daddy's all right ♪

♪ They just seema little weird ♪

♪ Surrender

♪ Surrender

♪ But don't give yourself away ♪

♪ Hey

♪ Hey

[cheers and applause]

♪ Whatever happened

♪ To all this season's ♪

♪ Losers of the year

♪ Every time I got to thinking

♪ Where'd they disappear ♪

♪ When I woke up

♪ Mom and Dad were

♪ Rolling on the couch

♪ Rolling numbers

♪ Rock and rollin' ♪

♪ Got my KISS records out

♪ Your Mommy's all right ♪

♪ Your Daddy's all right ♪

♪ They just seema little weird ♪

♪ Surrender

♪ Surrender

♪ But don't give yourself away ♪

♪ Hey

♪ Hey

♪ Away

- Oh, yeah!

- ♪ Surrender

♪ Surrender

♪ But don't give yourself away ♪

♪ Surrender

♪ Surrender

♪ But don't give yourself away ♪

♪ Surrender

♪ Surrender

♪ But don't give yourself away ♪

♪ Surrender

♪ Surrender

♪ But don't give yourself away ♪

♪ Surrender

♪ Surrender

♪ But don't give yourself away ♪

♪ Hey

♪ Hey

[cheers and applause]