Bill Burr - White Unity

  • Season 1 , Ep 10
  • 01/11/2011
  • Views: 16,733

A black guy stuck in the subway doors makes it racial. (1:27)

(Bill Burr)I WAS ON THE TRAINABOUT THREE WEEKS AGO.

THIS BLACK GUY GOES TOGET ON THE TRAIN, RIGHT?

AND THE DOORS, LIKE,CLOSED ON HIM.

THERE'S, LIKE, 20PEOPLE WATCHING

AND NOBODY (bleep) HELPS.

THEY'RE JUST LIKE,

WOW, I THINK IT'SGONNA CUT HIS ARM OFF.

THE CONDUCTOR COMES OUT ANDSTARTS GIVING HIM (bleep).

COME ON, BUDDY, LET'S GO!

WHAT THE (bleep) AREYOU YELLING AT ME FOR?

THEN HE MAKES IT RACIAL.

HE'S LIKE...

"WHAT, NO (bleep)WHITE PEOPLE EVER GOTSTUCK IN THESE DOORS?"

HE GOES, "I BET YOUWOULDN'T SAY (bleep)

"TO THESE CRACKER-ASSMOTHER(bleep) OVER HERE!"

IT WAS, LIKE, ME ANDTHREE OTHER WHITEDUDES SITTING THERE.

AND AFTER, LIKE, THETHIRD OR FOURTH...

"CRACKER-ASSMOTHER (bleep),"

WE KINDA START, LIKE,LOOKING AT EACH OTHER, LIKE,

DUDE, SHOULD WE NOTBE GETTING OFFENDEDAT THIS POINT?

I COULD LITERALLY FEELTHE HEAT FROM HISFINGER AS HE'S GOING,

"CRACKER-ASSMOTHER-(bleep)!"

SOMEBODY SHOULDDO SOMETHING.

YOU KNOW WHAT?

WE JUST SAT THEREAND TOOK IT.

THAT'S WHAT SUCKS ABOUT BEINGWHITE IN THAT SITUATION.

THERE'S NO UNITY!

THERE'S NO BROTHERS WHENIT COMES TO WHITE PEOPLE.

IT'S LIKE, "THAT'SNOT MY BROTHER."

"MY BROTHER LIVES IN OHIO."

"I DON'T KNOWTHAT (bleep) GUY."

WHAT'S A CRACKER?

SAME THING AS A HONKY.

EVERYONE MAKES SUCH A BIGDEAL ABOUT THIS WHOLEBLACK/WHITE THING.

I MEAN, WE GET ALONG FINE.

THINK, UH, WE'LL STILLHANG OUT WHEN WE'RE OLDER?

YEAH, WE'LL BE CHILLIN'AT HIGH SCHOOL.

I'LL STILL HAVEYOUR BACK...

EVEN IF I'M THE STAROF THE FOOTBALL TEAM

AND THE TOUGH KIDSARE BITCHING YOU FORYOUR LUNCH MONEY.

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