Extended - Panderdome - Daddy Dearest, Ice Cream Candidate & Crowd Work - Uncensored

Extended - Thursday, February 4, 2016 - Uncensored 02/04/2016 Views: 401

Scott Adsit, Annabeth Gish and Greg Proops show the paternal sides of Ted Cruz and Donald Trump, suggest sponsored perks for voters and guess how Jeb Bush addressed a crowd. (4:09)

NOW IT'S TIME TO GO TO A PLACE

WHERE WE DON'T NEED REASONS.

IT'S PANDERDOME!

(APPLAUSE AND CHEERING)HERE'S A LIST OF YOUR TOP

TRENDICLES ON THE WORLD WIDE WEBTODAY.

FIRST THING WE'RE GONNA TALKABOUT IS "DADDY DEAREST."

DADDY DEAREST.

BELCHING SEA LION WITH ASPAGHETTI HAT, DONALD TRUMP,

AND...

(LAUGHTER)>> OH.

>> HARDWICK: ...AND FLESHYMOBILE GARGOYLE TED CRUZ EMERGED

AS THE GOP FRONTRUNNERS, BUT...

>> OH, MY GOD.

>> HARDWICK: ...WHAT KIND OFFAMILY MEN ARE THEY?

WELL, HERE'S CRUZ SHOWINGEVERYONE JUST HOW MUCH HIS

DAUGHTER LOVES HIM.

>> HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY.

HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY.

>> OW! OW! OW! OW!

(LAUGHTER AND GROANING)(GISH SCREAMING)

>> HARDWICK: OH! OH, MY GOD.

(APPLAUSE AND CHEERING)SO...

>> IT'S SO GROSS.

>> HARDWICK: THAT KISS JUST MADEHER A DEMOCRAT.

THAT'S WHAT HAPPENED JUST THERE.

(LAUGHTER)NOW, GOING TO THE OTHER SIDE OF

THE SPECTRUM, TRUMP AND HISDAUGHTER HAVE A VERY CLOSE

RELATIONSHIP.

IN FACT, SO UNCOMFORTABLY CLOSETHAT SHE'S SITTING ON HIS LAP

AND CRADLING HIS JOWLS.

(AUDIENCE GROANING)WHILE TWO PARROTS ARE FUCKING

NEAR THEM.

(LAUGHTER)TO BE CLEAR, THOUGH, UH... TO BE

CLEAR ABOUT THESE PARROTS, THISPARROT IS NOT THE DAUGHTER OF

THIS PARROT, SO I JUST WANT TOMAKE THAT VERY...

THEY'RE NOT RELATED.

THEY'RE NOT... THEY'RE NOTRELATED IN ANY WAY.

THIS IS A PRETTY INCREDIBLEIMAGE.

WHAT DID THE PHOTOGRAPHER SAYRIGHT BEFORE HE TOOK THIS

PICTURE? ANNABETH.

>> UH, UH, OKAY, GREAT.

UH, NOW THIS TIME, MAKE MEREALLY UNCOMFORTABLE.

(LAUGHTER)YEAH?

(APPLAUSE AND CHEERING)>> HARDWICK: ALL RIGHT, YOU

HEARD THE MAN. POINTS.

GREG.

>> UH, OKAY, ON THE COUNT OFTHREE, SAY IT WITH ME.

"LET'S MAKE INCEST GREAT AGAIN!"(LAUGHTER AND GROANING)

(APPLAUSE)>> HARDWICK: POINTS. AGAIN.

LET'S MAKE IT GREAT AGAIN.

POINTS.

>> IT WAS GREAT BEFORE.

>> HARDWICK: SCOTT ADSIT.

>> UH, AS A WOMAN, I FIND THISAND YOU REPUGNANT, BUT I AM

GONNA VOTE FOR YOU ANYWAYBECAUSE I... AM A RACIST.

(LAUGHTER)(APPLAUSE AND CHEERING)

>> HARDWICK: POINTS.

ONTO OUR NEXT PANDERDOME TOPIC.

BEN & JERRY'S.

THERE WAS ANOTHER DEMOCRATICTOWN HALL WEDNESDAY.

AS THE RACE HEATS UP, CAMPAIGNDONORS ARE GOING TO EXTREMES TO

GET PEOPLE TO VOTE, LIKE VERMONTICE CREAM OVERLORD BEN COHEN OF

BEN & JERRY'S WHO PROMISEDIOWANS FREE ICE CREAM IF THEY

VOTED FOR BERNIE SANDERS.

(APPLAUSE AND CHEERING)IT'S...

(CHEERING)TO BE FAIR, HE CAN'T CHEW

ANYTHING HARDER.

(LAUGHTER AND GROANING)BUT, COMEDIANS... COMEDIANS,

WHAT ARE SOME OTHER WAYS ACOMPANY CAN INCENTIVIZE PEOPLE

TO VOTE FOR A CANDIDATE?

GREG PROOPS.

>> UH, IF YOU VOTE FOR SANDERS,YOU GET TO GO TO THE PASSOVER

SHOUT-OFF.

(LAUGHTER AND GROANING)>> HARDWICK: ALL RIGHT. POINTS.

>> FUCK YOU!

(LAUGHTER)>> HARDWICK: "GREG PROOPS

GETTING VERY AGGRESSIVE WITH THECROWD RIGHT OFF THE BAT."

SCOTT ADSIT.

>> UH, VOTE FOR CRUZ, ANDCHICK-FIL-A WILL BATTER AND

DEEP-FRY A HAPPILY-MARRIED GAYCOUPLE.

>> HARDWICK: YES, POINTS.

POINTS.

(LAUGHTER AND GROANING)ONTO OUR NEXT TOPIC.

CROWD WORK. CROWD WORK.

WHILE IN N'AMPSHIRE THISWEEK, OVERACHIEVING WAL-MART

GREETER JEB BUSH GOT THE CROWDALL RILED UP...

(PROOPS LAUGHS LOUDLY)THANK YOU, GREG PROOPS.

...IN AN INTERESTING WAY.

WHAT DID HE DO?

AN AIR GUITAR SOLO TO "THE FINALCOUNTDOWN," OR DID HE BEG HIS

AUDIENCE TO APPLAUD HIM?

GREG PROOPS.

>> UM, BOTH. NO.

(LAUGHTER)(APPLAUSE)

♪ DO-DO, DO, DO. >> HARDWICK: COME ON, GUYS.

>> ♪ DO-DO-DO, DO, DO. >> NOW, HE BEGGED HIS AUDIENCE

TO APPLAUD HIM BECAUSE THEY SATQUIET AFTER EVERYTHING HE SAID.

THEY'RE HONORING EVERYTHING HESAYS WITH A MOMENT OF SILENCE.

(LAUGHTER)(APPLAUSE)

>> HARDWICK: I WILL...

I WILL GIVE YOU POINTS, AND THENI WILL SHOW YOU THE ANSWER.

>> ...YOU GET BACK IN THEBUSINESS OF CREATING A MORE

PEACEFUL WORLD.

PLEASE CLAP.

(LAUGHTER)>> OH, OH, THAT'S SO...

>> HARDWICK: THIS GUY'S AFUCKIN' TOOL, MAN!

(LAUGHTER)>> MAN, THAT IS AN UNHAPPY GROUP

OF WHITE PEOPLE.

(LAUGHTER)