Bill Hicks - Polled

Bill Hicks & Jeff Stilson Season 1, Ep 0126 02/24/1992 Views: 10,766

Bill Hicks polls his audience on being polled and gives out some important safety tips. (1:29)

MAN, EVERY TIME...

WHERE ARE ALL THESE POLLS?

WHO'S GETTING POLLED?

I'VE NEVER BEEN POLLED.

I WANT TO GET POLLED.

HOW MANY PEOPLE HERE BY ROUND OFAPPLAUSE HAVE NEVER BEEN POLLED?

( loud applause )

ABOUT 85% OF YOU.

I GOT NEWS FOR YOU, FOLKS.

I JUST POLLED YOU.

HOW DOES IT FEEL-- WAS IT MAGIC?

YOU GOING TO TELL YOUR FRIENDS,"LAST NIGHT I GOT POLLED.

"BILL HICKS POLLED ME-- HE DID.

POLLED ME."

HOW MANY OF YOU LADIESEVER GOT POLLED?

YOU THOUGHT IT WENT REAL WELL

AND THE POLLERNEVER CALLED YOU BACK.

THERE'S TERRIBLE POLLSOUT THERE.

HOW ABOUT THIS?

YOU EVER GET POLLEDAND BEFORE YOU CAN ANSWER

THE GUY JUST ROLLS OFFAND GOES TO BED?

REMEMBER, THOUGH,IF YOU GET POLLED

YOU'RE NOT GETTING POLLEDBY THAT ONE GUY

BUT EVERY GUY HE'S POLLEDIN THE LAST SEVEN YEARS.

BE SAFE, WEAR A CONDOMWHILE YOU'RE BEING POLLED.

THE WEIRDEST POLLI EVER SAW WAS THIS ONE:

"HOW MANY PEOPLE DISAPPROVE

"OF GEORGE BUSH'SHANDLING OF THE COUNTRY?

"79%.

"HOW MANY PEOPLE WOULD VOTEFOR HIM AGAIN?

79%."

WHERE'D THEY TAKE THAT POLL?

SOME S AND M PARLOR?

IT HURTS, IT HURTS.

MORE, MORE.

KEEP POLLING ME.

( scattered laughter )