And don't get me wrong.
I understand that sometimes it'sreally hard to stop, you know.
One of those timeswas earlier today
when Donald Trump,fresh off his Tuesday victory,
flew Hair Force Oneto Washington
and headed to his new home
for one of the signatureceremonies of American democracy
as president Barack Obamawelcomed
President-Elect Donald Trumpto The White House.
That is so hard to watch.
I know this...I know it has to happen
but does it have to happenso quickly?
You know, it's likeif your dad dies
and then your mom starts datingat the funeral.
You're like, "Come on!
-Just give me timeto get used to it!" -(laughter)
Like, I'm surprised, though,that Donald Trump today
didn't just walk inwearing a dashiki, you know?
-(laughter)-Just being like, "Ali, bomaye."
I feel like this wholeprocess is backward, people.
The American electiontakes two years, two years,
when really it shouldonly be like 12 weeks.
But then the transition,
taking over the entireAmerican government,
which should take two years,only takes ten weeks.
You just meet the guy,sign the thing.
"Nukes are over there.All right, don't (bleep) it up.
Thank you. Good luck.Good luck. Good luck."
You just switch it around.
You know, one of the momentswhen you realize
how big this changeis going to be
is that right behind DonaldTrump during their meeting,
the man who ran oneof the most divisive,
racially-charged campaignsin memory,
behind him is a bustof Martin Luther King, Jr.
That bust right now must bethinking, "I have a nightmare."
One upside was, to signifythe momentous occasion,
Barack Obama had a new imagebehind him,
a painting of Crying Jordanthat he put up.
-(laughter)-Trump was like,
"Oh, you put a picture upof yourself, I see."
(laughter and groaning)
Have you ever wonderedwhat it would be like
to meet your worst Twitter enemyin person?
Well, picture itwith nicer chairs,
and it would probablygo like this.
I just had the opportunity tohave an excellent conversation
with President-Elect Trump.
We were just gonna getto know each other.
We had never met each other.
Uh, I have great respect.
"Yes, great respect.
"Turns out he's super nice.
Never judge a blackby his cover."
How did these guys talkfor more than an hour?
We talked about foreign policy,we talked about domestic policy,
and, in the meantime,Michelle has had a chance
to greetthe incoming First Lady,
and we had an excellent, uh,
conversation with her, as well.
Yeah. Talking domesticand foreign policy.
I bet Trump askedto see domestic policy's
birth certificate to make sureit wasn't foreign.
And what was the meeting betweenMichelle and Melania like?
Was Melania justplagiarizing her on the fly?
(laughter) -(as Michelle):"It's so nice to meet you."
(as Melania):"It's so nice to meet you."
(as Michelle):"This is the Roosevelt Room.
(as Melania):"This is the Roosevelt..."
(as Michelle):"Okay, stop that!"
(as Melania):"Okay, stop that!"
(laughter,applause and cheering)
I feel like...
I actually feellike Donald Trump
should have met Michelleinstead, you know?
He'd be like, (like Trump):"I'm a huge fan of your work.
I, too, think womenshould lose weight."
It's a good thing The Daily Show was actually there to capture
this historic meeting,because normal cameras
only capture the physical-- ourcameras can capture the mind.
We... now are gonna, uh...
want to do everything we canto help you succeed,
because if you succeed,then the country succeeds.
I think President Obama
has been the most ignorantpresident in our history.
He has done such a lousy job.
He's maybe the worstthat we've ever had.
He may not have been bornin this country.
He should showhis birth certificate.
Everything he does is wrong.
They wouldn't evengive him stairs
to come out of Air Force One.
He founded ISIS.
Thank you very much,President Obama.
I have great respect...
If somebody can't handlea Twitter account...
-(laughter) -they can't handlethe nuclear codes.
He is temperamentally unfitto be commander in chief.
He pumps himself upby putting other people down.
He's spent most of his lifetrying to stay
as far away from working peopleas he could.
...uniquely unqualifiedto be president.
This is a guy who,like, tweets...
"They should cancel Saturday Night Live."
And you want to be presidentof the United States?
-(crowd shouting)-Come on, man.
Mr. President, it wasa great honor being with you,
and I look forwardto being with you
many, many more timesin the future.
-Thank you, sir.-All right.
That is one hellof a performance--
especially by President Obama.
Which means at least one blackperson should get nominated
-for an Oscar this year. And...-(laughter, whooping, applause)
and on the other side,
Trump looks likehe likes Obama, too.
Ben Carson must beso jealous right now.
(like Carson):Oh, rats.
Trump's getting a new...black friend.
So there you have it, folks.
President Obama meeting with...
future president, Donald Trump.
I'm... I'm gonna gothrow up now.